By Ovundah Nyeche.
Few days ago, I called a friend on phone and told him I needed to see him urgently. We had fixed meetings several times in the past, but work and other things prevented these from holding. This time however, the meeting had to hold.
He breathed heavily when he picked up the phone, and asked me, ‘Ovd did my wife call you?’, a question I did not answer. In response I told him we should meet the following day at a particular venue for a man-to-man talk.
The day of the meeting came and we sat down, man-to-man, brother-to-brother. We talked, no holds barred and at the end, he said ‘Bro, I did not see this stuff in this light, I feel very sorry. I have to make peace’. He left the meeting much better than he came, and he made commitments to stop the offence that caused the issue and immediately ended all appointments and made plans to go home to his wife.
I smiled. I have also been on the hot seat, one call to mentors or friends when I no dey hear word and I am put in my place and vice versa. No, my own relationship is not without its own challenges.
I called to follow up later on my friends and it was as though a problem that had lasted years had disappeared, and the smiles and number of ‘Thank yous’ on the other side of the phone was enough to build a flyover.
This is why I shake my head when I see couples build their home on the erroneous maxim ‘a third party must never know what is happening in your home’. This sounds nice, sweet and motivational but in many cases it backfires.
Sassy and Lassy are breaking up after 1 year in marriage and you ask to know what the issue is or was and you find out they are issues that if they were sorted out in time would not have resulted in the mountain or chasm that the problem now looks like or if counsel was sought on time they would have found out that they were not the only ones who had that issue, and it is actually not an issue if faced with wisdom.
Unsurprisingly, many things people face are not unique and many times not novel.
This journey is too important to isolate yourself from wise counsel and from people that can make you accountable, people that can mentor you and guide you in the right path.
Today Hear Word and do the right thing.
Today Hear Word and invest in the right relationships.
Today Hear Word and be intentional about the success of your marriage.
Today Hear Word and suffocate needless problems.
Today, Hear Word.
Anyone who doesn’t listen to or look up to at least one person for wise counsel is a no no for me.
Thank you so much for your feedback.
Ovundah Nyeche it’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
As long as the couple is discerning enough to choose wise counselors, there is safety in wise counsel.
Of course wicked or foolish counsel can ruin a marriage, so discernment is key.
Well done, keep speaking, the world is listening!!! 👍🏻
Thank you so much for your feedback.
I especially like this paragraph:
This is why I shake my head when I see couples build their home on the erroneous maxim ‘a third party must never know what is happening in your home’. This sounds nice, sweet and motivational but in many cases it backfires.
Thank you so much for your feedback.
In as much as I’m single, I agree with you. No one knows everything and as such we need each other to be able to continue living ‘peacefully’…
We should also know when a wrong or right counsel is given.
We will keep on hearing word! ✌️
Thank you so much for your feedback.
How do you convince a spouse you both need counseling when he or she doesn’t believe in third party
Does the spouse have someone they look up to or listen to ?
I love the aspect that says be intentional to make your marriage work. Great piece.
Thank you so much for your feedback.