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Wisdom for two

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

One of the many questions I ask people getting married, is what their expectations about marriage is? And what exactly they expect from their spouse? And as always respect, love, protection, submission, provision, companionship, children etc. may mean different things to different couples and people.

Many times many of the disappointment about marriage is that many of these expectations, many not voiced, written or expressly communicated are not met… And many times many of these expectations are formed from social media, music lyrics, films and many are without a tinge of reality.

Wisdom is really knowing and agreeing on these expectations and also knowing that things may not exactly go according to plan and when they don’t, both couple should be willing to negotiate unexpected bends and do all within their ability to make their home work.

A good home is not wished for, it is not just prayed for, it is worked for by both parties and it is a full time job.

I don’t know who is going through difficult times at home, or navigating bends you never envisioned, or disillusioned with what you are currently seeing… getting scored early goals, by the team called ‘challenges’, does not necessarily mean you will lose the match or your home; getting knocked down in the first round by challenges, does not necessarily mean you have lost out completely.

It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies. It’s better to be wise than strong; intelligence outranks muscle any day. Strategic planning is the key to warfare; to win, you need a lot of good counsel. Proverbs 24:3‭-‬6 MSG

Wisdom oh Lord we pray, wisdom oh Lord we apply. @ovdiasis

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20 Comments

20 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Stanley Kalu

    June 14, 2020 at 10:48 am

    Its such a relevant wisdom to our generation that you have succinctly described… Its an inspiring piece! Keep it up Bishop Ovidiasis

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 14, 2020 at 1:03 pm

      Thank you so much Prof, for your feedback

  2. Avatar

    Marshal

    June 14, 2020 at 11:33 am

    This is great wisdom, Dr. Thank you so much.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 14, 2020 at 1:03 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback

  3. Avatar

    Merite

    June 14, 2020 at 1:17 pm

    Apt

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 14, 2020 at 1:26 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback.

  4. Avatar

    Stanley Koko

    June 14, 2020 at 2:11 pm

    Chief, thank God that some of you dressing this “Working it out” matter.

    A lot of opinions I’ve sampled say, if he/she is the one, “EVERYTHING WILL FALL INTO PLACE”, you wont need to STRUGGLE(work anything)…
    …that notion is rampant, even in d building of a relationship…..giving little or no room for adjustment, adaptation, forbearance & patience….hence, these virtues are not exercised before walking the aisles..
    ..
    Please continue to help/counsel us …
    Thank you Sir!

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 14, 2020 at 1:26 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback.

  5. Avatar

    Excel

    June 14, 2020 at 2:17 pm

    Wisdom indeed for two.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 14, 2020 at 4:47 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback

  6. Avatar

    Priscilla

    June 14, 2020 at 2:31 pm

    A good home is not wished for ??
    Wisdom and knowledge will take disgrace strength any day.
    Lord grant us the wisdom to work our intentions. Amen ?

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 14, 2020 at 1:32 pm

      Amen, thank you so much for your feedback

      • Avatar

        Mba Faith Chimzurumoke

        June 14, 2020 at 4:10 pm

        Nice piece. Thank you so much sir.

        • Avatar

          Ovundah

          June 14, 2020 at 4:46 pm

          Thank you so much for your feedback

  7. Avatar

    Oronne Wokekoro

    June 14, 2020 at 3:26 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this… very insightful.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 14, 2020 at 4:46 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback

  8. Avatar

    Maclean Eneotu

    June 15, 2020 at 7:18 am

    Doc, thank you for this piece. You know a lot of time, most people think that if they are on the right track, then everything will happen just like that; stress-free like we see in some fairy tales. Sometimes too, we often tend to use the phrase “God forbid” to wish away what we should have worked out or work for.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 15, 2020 at 5:33 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback

  9. Avatar

    Mrs. Uche

    June 15, 2020 at 4:15 pm

    Spirit Inspired. Thanks Dr. O

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      June 15, 2020 at 5:33 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback

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Family Circle

Don’t Fake it, Face it…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

Few days ago, I called a friend on phone and told him I needed to see him urgently. We had fixed meetings several times in the past, but work and other things prevented these from holding. This time however, the meeting had to hold.

He breathed heavily when he picked up the phone, and asked me, ‘Ovd did my wife call you?’, a question I did not answer. In response I told him we should meet the following day at a particular venue for a man-to-man talk.

The day of the meeting came and we sat down, man-to-man, brother-to-brother. We talked, no holds barred and at the end, he said ‘Bro, I did not see this stuff in this light, I feel very sorry. I have to make peace’. He left the meeting much better than he came, and he made commitments to stop the offence that caused the issue and immediately ended all appointments and made plans to go home to his wife.

I smiled. I have also been on the hot seat, one call to mentors or friends when I no dey hear word and I am put in my place and vice versa. No, my own relationship is not without its own challenges.

I called to follow up later on my friends and it was as though a problem that had lasted years had disappeared, and the smiles and number of ‘Thank yous’ on the other side of the phone was enough to build a flyover.

This is why I shake my head when I see couples build their home on the erroneous maxim ‘a third party must never know what is happening in your home’. This sounds nice, sweet and motivational but in many cases it backfires.

Sassy and Lassy are breaking up after 1 year in marriage and you ask to know what the issue is or was and you find out they are issues that if they were sorted out in time would not have resulted in the mountain or chasm that the problem now looks like or if counsel was sought on time they would have found out that they were not the only ones who had that issue, and it is actually not an issue if faced with wisdom.

Unsurprisingly, many things people face are not unique and many times not novel.

This journey is too important to isolate yourself from wise counsel and from people that can make you accountable, people that can mentor you and guide you in the right path.

Today Hear Word and do the right thing.

Today Hear Word and invest in the right relationships.

Today Hear Word and be intentional about the success of your marriage.

Today Hear Word and suffocate needless problems.

Today, Hear Word.

Hearword #ovdspeaks #HearWordSeries

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Family Circle

House Rent Palaver.

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

When you get married, apart from your children school fees, one issue that will talk to you every year/season, if you stay in a country like Nigeria and you don’t have your property, stay in your organization’s accommodation, or have your accommodation sorted out by your organization, is the issue of house rent.

Yes, house rents speaks so loud…and house rents can cause family problems if not tackled with wisdom, reality and the truth.

As a couple, it is important you tell yourself basic truths about your finances and plan accordingly.

Yes your ‘levels’ may be saying GRA or Peter Odili road or Banana Island, but what does your pocket say? Knowing that in 12 months time, the house rent bell will ring again…and for unexplained reasons it is usually easier to pay the first rent than subsequent ones in many cases.

Like someone advised your yearly house rent should not be more than 20% of your yearly income or yearly profi and trust me ‘e no easy to bring out’ the whole rent at once, so it may be wisdom to save monthly for it. So if you can’t bring out (let’s say your house rent is #1,000,000 yearly) #100,000 monthly comfortably, it may be very difficult to pay the #1,000,000 at once and it may be a pointer, that you are living above your means.

May the Lord grant us wisdom and may you not live your life on other people’s impression about you…or plan your budget based on the circle of friends you belong to. All fingers are not equal, even if they are part of the same hand.

Telling yourselves basic truths, can save your family a whole lot of headache…yes, life is not always straight forward and hard times and emergencies can sometimes come unannounced, but to the best of your abilities, be truthful to yourselves.

Like a proverb says “No look another person pot of soup, do garri”…’e go shock you’.

May wisdom lead you.

#HearWord #ovdspeaks #HearWordseries

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Family Circle

Wisdom for two…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

Months ago, I was privileged to be a guest, in an all women therapy session…

And the moderator, wanted the participants to open up and talk…

And gave a caveat, when it was time for the feedback…

“No men bashing, will be allowed here”, she said, I loved this,as the session focused on issues and not gender or sex chromosomes.

In my observation, and my journey hearing stories and helping people, I know there are 3 sides to every story.

His side, her side and the TRUTH, which may be her side of the story, his side of the story, their stories or none of their story…

Are you are man, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those who tell you, all women are evil, beat am, cheat more, knack am something, fear women etc… Be careful of closed groups that paint women as evil and fan your indiscretions, idiosyncrasies and stupidity…be careful about any group that makes you more toxic.

Are you a woman, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those that tell you, to get rid of the man and make him disappear, they won’t serve your jail term/death sentence with you… Be wary of people that tell you to spill the sweet blood, that has turned sour… Be wary of people especially that have intact marriages, but shout at the top of their voice ‘Menascum’, be careful about those who ended their marriages and encourage you to do so, at the slightest sneeze…

Be careful about groups, that encourage you to pour bile orally, visually or via text…

Are you a Christian, be careful about taking decisions, that though are popular and would give you likes and shares, and hail you as brave… But are contrary to the Word of God…

Be careful about making life changing decisions, when you are very enraged and clouded by emotions…

I said I should let you know…

Many times what you need is wisdom… You cannot use a razor blade to cut an iroko tree, because it can cut your toenail…

hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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