By Ovundah Nyeche.

Months ago, I was privileged to be a guest, in an all women therapy session…

And the moderator, wanted the participants to open up and talk…

And gave a caveat, when it was time for the feedback…

“No men bashing, will be allowed here”, she said, I loved this,as the session focused on issues and not gender or sex chromosomes.

In my observation, and my journey hearing stories and helping people, I know there are 3 sides to every story.

His side, her side and the TRUTH, which may be her side of the story, his side of the story, their stories or none of their story…

Are you are man, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those who tell you, all women are evil, beat am, cheat more, knack am something, fear women etc… Be careful of closed groups that paint women as evil and fan your indiscretions, idiosyncrasies and stupidity…be careful about any group that makes you more toxic.

Are you a woman, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those that tell you, to get rid of the man and make him disappear, they won’t serve your jail term/death sentence with you… Be wary of people that tell you to spill the sweet blood, that has turned sour… Be wary of people especially that have intact marriages, but shout at the top of their voice ‘Menascum’, be careful about those who ended their marriages and encourage you to do so, at the slightest sneeze…

Be careful about groups, that encourage you to pour bile orally, visually or via text…

Are you a Christian, be careful about taking decisions, that though are popular and would give you likes and shares, and hail you as brave… But are contrary to the Word of God…

Be careful about making life changing decisions, when you are very enraged and clouded by emotions…

I said I should let you know…

Many times what you need is wisdom… You cannot use a razor blade to cut an iroko tree, because it can cut your toenail…

hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

0

This may look like an unnecessary question, but as a parent of twins, even if they are not identical and are of different sexes, it is very vital.

My twin boy and girl are quite attached even if they have different personalities, in fact if you ask one of the twin his name, he will say his name is that of his twin sister.

Recently, we enrolled them into school and we got a shocker, my darlings were not to be in the same class. They were to have different teachers, minders and classmates.

You know we had never really thought of this academic separation and research into whether they should be in the same class or not, brought interesting points for and against.

So I shared this question on my Facebook timeline ‘Any idea why a school refuses to put twin children in the same class?’

And the thoughts shared were enlightening and I would share some of them here.

Chigoziri Enyi Wodu says ‘I am a twin and I liked having my brother in class with me. We were together all through until University.

I think twins should be left together, after all they came out together for a reason.

FYI: We never played any pranks on our teachers, we worked together and it was great having family (someone I knew always had my back) around.

I think upbringing matters a lot here, we are very independent minded, my brother never fails to tell me when I’m being unreasonable, I do the same too. We may not say it to the hearing of others but we look out for each other.’

Ajiri Edosio says ‘I think they do it so they can freely interact with other children and you know some twins are mischievous, they’ll just be using their teachers and classmates to play pranks. My twin nephews are in different classes’

Ishioma Egun says ‘It is just to avoid distraction among the children and help each child to be responsible for his or her actions. Also from my experience with the twins my Uncle had, they were never in the same class from nursery school to secondary. We saw each persons strength and weaknesses in various aspects of the school work.’

Adaoma Okehie-Onwukaeme says’ ‘The teacher might get confused; in short they will scatter the class. If they are naughty children, one may commit a crime or even both and the teacher may develop headache or even hypertension trying to find out who because as twins they may cover for themselves.’

Ogunjobi Omotolani Jemimah says ‘I taught identical twins two years ago. They were both in my class for a year. There’s no reason why they can’t be in the same class. One of the advantage is you help them build their weakness. It fosters consistent learning especially in their elementary years. Academically,socially and emotionally there is some research to indicate that children actually do better when kept together. The flip side of same class for identical twins is that it doesn’t encourage them to develop their individuality.’

Ikhurionan Idialu Bethsy says ‘To prevent unhealthy competition in case one is doing far better.’

Rehan Obagah Berepele says ‘There is always competition between them, fights and distractions. They don’t associate well with others when together. They need individual development. They do better separated.’

Peace Daniel Gobo says ‘My son recently joined a new school and I personally asked for him to be separated from his friend in the football academy. It is usually better for concentration and better social interaction so he can make new friends. So I’m thinking the same should apply for twins.’

Emenu Samuel Chijioke says ‘No reason is good enough.’

Love Fiwajomi says ‘It could be so they can express themselves individually and the teacher will not be confused as to who is who if they look alike so much.
The teacher who asked for them to be separated should be asked. He/She will state his/her reasons. If the reason(s) isn’t good enough, you ask that they should be left in the same class.
I personally experienced where the smart one writes test for he and his twin brother, JSS1 students. They look alike even to their handwriting.’

Diamond Tonye-Obene says ‘They will team up against their classmates.
They will bring home play to school and distract themselves. Please, they should stay apart’.

Aches Ibiene Don Pedro says ‘They should be separate, if one person refuses to write the other might not want to, they can team up and beat up a class mate, they will play too much, thus they might lack concentration. If they are not yet grown you might not know who is actually doing well, as they might be copying from each other.’

Olaka Ebienju says ‘They need to learn individually and express themselves independently. When they are older they can be in same class.’

What do you think? Do you agree?

+11

By Ovundah Nyeche

Raising kids is not a child’s play. At the back of most parents minds is what to use to distract them with, when parents wish to rest or be more productive at home.

For many parents smartphones, tablets or computers are the answer.

From rhymes, to videos, to games, to cartoons, to emmmmmmm social media… these devices got you covered.

But here is the issue, many kids are already hooked to phones before they even own one…add the pressure of buying your children a phone, the internet and then non vigilance… And there is a disaster brewing.

Many times I speak with kids, I ask them to raise their hands if they have phones and many do… I then add if they are on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Whatsapp, Twitter and other social media networks and hands still stay up and then when you ask their ages… You feel sorry for them and their parents…as many are not even old enough to be on the social media platforms they are already on.

I don’t know how to say this… But parents, myself inclusive, it is not in the constitution that you must give your kids phones because you can afford it. It is also not in the constitution that you must open social media accounts for them because they have reached the acceptable ages to get a social media account… Especially if you have not trained them to maturity and independence and you are sure you cannot follow them on social media and know who they follow and their online activities.

Some children even play smart by increasing their ages, so as to get an account and are smart enough to block their parents and all monitoring spirits as well.

And they follow Mhizsexy, MrRandy, Her Slay Highness, His Royal Highness, Mhiznude, Masternaked, CrackheadJoe on social media who will take them on a journey, a really long and perilous journey.

Some are already exposed to cyber bullying or learn how to cyber bully early on.

Some use pictures gotten from the internet as their profile pictures and use fake names as they immerse themselves in a world of senior jokes and learn rubbish as well.

Some play dangerous games on the internet, gamble on the internet and on their phones… Snap nude pictures which they display on exclusive groups and sites.

So before you give your child a phone. Be sure your eyes are on point, be sure you trust them and they trust you too to open up to them.

Be sure you have the strength, skill and wisdom to follow up, not forgetting there are apps which hide iniquitous stuff from the eyes of mortal men.

Emmmmmm that you can access your child’s phone does not mean you know what’s up or you can unearth the mystery inside.

Don’t contribute to your heartbreak and wonder why “village people” are against you… And yes, one child told me once of his prowess in overriding firewalls his parents set.

I said let me, let you know.

If you don’t take care of your children… Things will take care of them.

May the Lord give us wisdom, to be parents indeed in this fast paced generation.

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

0