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Do your kids need a smartphone?

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By Ovundah Nyeche

Raising kids is not a child’s play. At the back of most parents minds is what to use to distract them with, when parents wish to rest or be more productive at home.

For many parents smartphones, tablets or computers are the answer.

From rhymes, to videos, to games, to cartoons, to emmmmmmm social media… these devices got you covered.

But here is the issue, many kids are already hooked to phones before they even own one…add the pressure of buying your children a phone, the internet and then non vigilance… And there is a disaster brewing.

Many times I speak with kids, I ask them to raise their hands if they have phones and many do… I then add if they are on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Whatsapp, Twitter and other social media networks and hands still stay up and then when you ask their ages… You feel sorry for them and their parents…as many are not even old enough to be on the social media platforms they are already on.

I don’t know how to say this… But parents, myself inclusive, it is not in the constitution that you must give your kids phones because you can afford it. It is also not in the constitution that you must open social media accounts for them because they have reached the acceptable ages to get a social media account… Especially if you have not trained them to maturity and independence and you are sure you cannot follow them on social media and know who they follow and their online activities.

Some children even play smart by increasing their ages, so as to get an account and are smart enough to block their parents and all monitoring spirits as well.

And they follow Mhizsexy, MrRandy, Her Slay Highness, His Royal Highness, Mhiznude, Masternaked, CrackheadJoe on social media who will take them on a journey, a really long and perilous journey.

Some are already exposed to cyber bullying or learn how to cyber bully early on.

Some use pictures gotten from the internet as their profile pictures and use fake names as they immerse themselves in a world of senior jokes and learn rubbish as well.

Some play dangerous games on the internet, gamble on the internet and on their phones… Snap nude pictures which they display on exclusive groups and sites.

So before you give your child a phone. Be sure your eyes are on point, be sure you trust them and they trust you too to open up to them.

Be sure you have the strength, skill and wisdom to follow up, not forgetting there are apps which hide iniquitous stuff from the eyes of mortal men.

Emmmmmm that you can access your child’s phone does not mean you know what’s up or you can unearth the mystery inside.

Don’t contribute to your heartbreak and wonder why “village people” are against you… And yes, one child told me once of his prowess in overriding firewalls his parents set.

I said let me, let you know.

If you don’t take care of your children… Things will take care of them.

May the Lord give us wisdom, to be parents indeed in this fast paced generation.

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Chimankpa Naic Nwakanma

    August 3, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    I asked my younger sister who is just in SS2 to deactivate her Facebook account the other day, and she did. I had to do it for her own sanity

    Social media cum smartphone, can cause a great damage to teenagers if they aren’t monitored. Parents may begin to wonder why there children suddenly come up with strange behaviours, but they won’t know that it’s from social media.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 3, 2019 at 3:56 pm

      Thank you so much for the feedback

  2. Avatar

    Chioma

    August 4, 2019 at 12:55 pm

    Ha!
    But why even purchase phones for children at this age?
    Especially phones with internet access??

    I have always had reservations towards even the “educational tablets”.
    Is it just me??
    I was saying my kids would not have phones till 16years.
    I’ve later reconsidered to a basic non “browsable” phone from 14/15 for communication purposes if not a land line.

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      Ovundah

      August 5, 2019 at 4:31 am

      Thank you for your feedback… So what is your reservations about phones?

  3. Avatar

    Uche

    August 3, 2020 at 6:07 pm

    My 13year old daughter just told me that some of her classmates are on Facebook and that they registered as 18year olds. I for one have told my kids that they aren’t getting phones until they are 18. No compromise. They understand my reasons. I have to at least protect them till they become official adults.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 8, 2020 at 3:51 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback.

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Wisdom for two

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

One of the many questions I ask people getting married, is what their expectations about marriage is? And what exactly they expect from their spouse? And as always respect, love, protection, submission, provision, companionship, children etc. may mean different things to different couples and people.

Many times many of the disappointment about marriage is that many of these expectations, many not voiced, written or expressly communicated are not met… And many times many of these expectations are formed from social media, music lyrics, films and many are without a tinge of reality.

Wisdom is really knowing and agreeing on these expectations and also knowing that things may not exactly go according to plan and when they don’t, both couple should be willing to negotiate unexpected bends and do all within their ability to make their home work.

A good home is not wished for, it is not just prayed for, it is worked for by both parties and it is a full time job.

I don’t know who is going through difficult times at home, or navigating bends you never envisioned, or disillusioned with what you are currently seeing… getting scored early goals, by the team called ‘challenges’, does not necessarily mean you will lose the match or your home; getting knocked down in the first round by challenges, does not necessarily mean you have lost out completely.

It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies. It’s better to be wise than strong; intelligence outranks muscle any day. Strategic planning is the key to warfare; to win, you need a lot of good counsel. Proverbs 24:3‭-‬6 MSG

Wisdom oh Lord we pray, wisdom oh Lord we apply. @ovdiasis

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Wisdom for two…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

Months ago, I was privileged to be a guest, in an all women therapy session…

And the moderator, wanted the participants to open up and talk…

And gave a caveat, when it was time for the feedback…

“No men bashing, will be allowed here”, she said, I loved this,as the session focused on issues and not gender or sex chromosomes.

In my observation, and my journey hearing stories and helping people, I know there are 3 sides to every story.

His side, her side and the TRUTH, which may be her side of the story, his side of the story, their stories or none of their story…

Are you are man, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those who tell you, all women are evil, beat am, cheat more, knack am something, fear women etc… Be careful of closed groups that paint women as evil and fan your indiscretions, idiosyncrasies and stupidity…be careful about any group that makes you more toxic.

Are you a woman, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those that tell you, to get rid of the man and make him disappear, they won’t serve your jail term/death sentence with you… Be wary of people that tell you to spill the sweet blood, that has turned sour… Be wary of people especially that have intact marriages, but shout at the top of their voice ‘Menascum’, be careful about those who ended their marriages and encourage you to do so, at the slightest sneeze…

Be careful about groups, that encourage you to pour bile orally, visually or via text…

Are you a Christian, be careful about taking decisions, that though are popular and would give you likes and shares, and hail you as brave… But are contrary to the Word of God…

Be careful about making life changing decisions, when you are very enraged and clouded by emotions…

I said I should let you know…

Many times what you need is wisdom… You cannot use a razor blade to cut an iroko tree, because it can cut your toenail…

hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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Two can walk together forever…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

In all thy getting, don’t break your marriage or enter marital problems because of things you read on social media.

All these you are so brave, na so, if it is me… I will not take it… Nonsense man or woman… If he does it, I will do him/her back… Men and women must be put in their place, meniscus, womeniscus, et al… May not be the best for you.

It is also important to note that, people who pour and fire, fire on social media, may not be what they fire in real life…also it is important not to build your marriage on templates that may be faulty.

Like football, great coaches, have a plan or tactics to use, but adapt with the game at hand… Great coaches know when to go for possession and when to concede possession…they know goals and not stats win matches.

As a Christian, my allegiance is to the Word of God, and it guides my relationship with my spouse.

You ginger all the ginger and the word of God, reminds you, O boy, you no try, O boy just look your face for mirror, see that plank wey dey your eyes… 😂 😂 😂 And boom you want to drag leg… But the word of God is not your mate… And you obey and get back your peace…

Like I tell those I tell… Marriage is not war, it is not male vs female… It is not pishim pishim … But a deliberate union, where a man and his wife makes a decision together surmount any challenge and be all what God has destined for them …

If both of you agree to #hearword and both bring 💯 into the union, not 50-50, both of you are vulnerable and open to yourself in your union and ditch the “do you know who I am” or “I did you a favour by marrying you” 😂 😂 😂 and are willing to make your marriage work irrespective of the normal stresses of the relationship… Where both of you look out for the good of your spouse and are willing to walk and work it out to success…

Marriage is a full time job… Don’t allow social media deceive you, it requires investment and thought in the direction you wish it to take… marriage is a wonderful thing…

Everyday airplanes take off and land… Ironically it is the planes that crash or have turbulence that make news… Everyday cars go on long distance journeys and arrive, but it is those that crash or have a mishap that make news…Ships also leave ports and arrive at their destinations, but again, disaster makes more news.
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Don’t allow crashes define or determine the mood of your journey…who goes for a journey and is preoccupied about a crash.

It will work out, it is working out… If you are not hearing word in any area of your life be it anger, infidelity, violence, et al … Go and seek for help and don’t commonize it… Get accountable… Invest in knowledge…fix self… Do all you can to make your marriage work.

#selah #hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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