By Ovundah Nyeche.
One of the biggest lessons I learnt while in Christian leadership in school is that your sins will eventually find you out; try all you can, hide all you wish, sexual sin has a way of cropping out and many times cropping out when you least expect. For me God knew my path and saw years ahead and helped me earlier on, and he still does today.
During my pre-degree in university, I came into school fresh with plans, but somehow I was housed in a room, well a Christian fellowship room; and I was privileged to stay in that room for one year.
The room housed the fellowship president, an ex-president and two future presidents of the fellowship. I learnt first-hand a lot of things, saw character, integrity, openness and accountability; ‘Wetyn you wan hide?’ The corners were improperly separated by cotton cubicles, somehow privacy was not really privacy…In fact I could never eat my akara and bread (A&B) in secrecy and peace, without the aroma filtering to all the corners of the small room.
I also learnt how to relate with sisters, ‘Na wah you’…Yes though I have 2 biological sisters, but most of my secondary school days were in the confines of an all-boys catholic seminary.
In that one year and the years that followed, I learnt that:
- Everything we do is open before God, everything- He sees everything as in everything and He even knows our deepest thoughts and motive behind all our actions. My logic then was would you do something bad, if you knew your action was being projected live in a stadium filled with people, who counted and looked up to you. The answer now and then remains the same- No. For me God was so present, so real and so close to me and I could not hide anything from Him.
- No matter how anointed you are, what runs through your veins and arteries is blood laden with hormones and not olive oil or anointing oil, before the appellation man of God, you are a man. Also no matter how anointed a man is, if it is not coupled with discipline, the man is a disaster waiting to happen.
- The importance of surrounding yourself with the right set of people, it matters people, it truly matters. No matter how strong you are, you need to surround yourself with men who will encourage you to be strong and tell you what you need to hear, not necessary what you want to hear. People you can be accountable to. Ever read the Greek folklore Odyssey and the sirens? The sirens were mythical creatures depicted as seductively beautiful women, famed for their beautiful and enchanting voice which lured sailors to their island leading to their shipwreck and destruction.
- Odyssey the hero of the story was warned about them as his ship was about to coast through the sea close to their island. In obedience to the warning, he plugged the ears of his men with beeswax, and asked them to tie him firmly to the mast of the ship, with an instruction that they should never release him no matter how much he begged. In fact he told them, if he begged too much, they should get him tied more. So as the sirens sang, his men never heard their beautiful and seductive voice and as Odyssey heard their voice and screamed, begged and struggled to be released to go to the sirens, he was even bound tighter to the mast, as they all eventually sailed to safety. It is in your best interest to create a system of accountability, you need the right people around you.
- The importance of not staying alone in private with someone of the opposite sex you are not married or related to, no matter the reason. Never place on your path situations that can make you to compromise. It is not in your best interest attending to emotional issues in private. Also, lust or whatever name we choose to call it does not need to be cuddled…Flee from lust, don’t flee towards it.
- The importance of knowing the word of God for yourself and allowing it sink into your spirit. You never know when these words would come in handy, when the suggestions from the flesh is too loud. Like Paul writes, ‘Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.’ What are you sowing, and who are you pleasing? Think on these things.
- I learnt the importance of dealing with my eyes, yes oh…your eyes can put you in trouble, big trouble. I learnt the not more than ‘One look rule’, and o boy it was useful. No matter the package, if my eyes catches it the first time and my hormones shout on top of their voice for me to focus on what is exciting them, the brain tells the eyes not to have another look. Also, apart from systematically moping, the importance of staying away from all forms of pornography whether soft or hard core cannot be overemphasized. We should never grow to the point where pornography scenes in movies, music videos, songs, magazines, on social media etc. mean nothing to us. Hello, dirty movies creates a rut in the mind that railroads us into sexual compromise and sin.
- You will never mature spiritually to the point you are too strong to watch porn. Like the wise King Solomon advised ‘Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.’ Truly speaking, what you watch and listen to today is an investment, and you would cash it someday and many times the return of investment is very high.
- No one would care if I was tempted; no one would know I was minding my business, when I saw something lying on my bed oh…’You would have stood even though the mountain came to you,’ I would have heard…No one would mind if she was scantily dressed and threw herself on me…No one would listen to me when I try to explain it was a naked lady that held me tightly and I wanted to retaliate…no one would understand and none of these excuses would sell. All the news will be on how a Christian leader was wasted by a waist not his.
- Staying in sin would bring shame to the body of Christ and bring shame to all who depend on me.
Tell yourself the truth, if you lay your hands on someone and something inside of you is reacting hungrily, or you give a hug and you immediately jump from neutral to gear 5; Or you look and yeah she is beautiful, not your wife and your body reacts; Just know you are human and you have no business staying alone with someone of the opposite sex you are not married to …even if it is for counselling, prayers, watching war room, or taking communion.
If you are having issues with controlling your sexual desires and appetite, but you are in Christian leadership, know your soul is more important than your position …step down, seek discipline/ discipleship, seek help, protect others and yourself.
Charisma, being gifted and being in public exposes you to a lot… seek counselling, seek medical help, avoid triggers and seek God.
It will be more painful and terrible for you to lead people astray, who you were supposed to lead to the master.
Let me end with Paul’s advice, ‘Don’t let sexual sin, perversion of any kind, or greed even be mentioned among you. This is not appropriate behavior for God’s holy people. It’s not right that dirty stories, foolish talk, or obscene jokes should be mentioned among you either. Instead, give thanks ⌊to God⌋. You know very well that no person who is involved in sexual sin, perversion, or greed (which means worshiping wealth) can have any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.’
Thank you for reading, would love to get a feedback from you in the comment section, or send me a private message by clicking https://ovundahnyeche.com/523-2/ and filling the contact form.
God bless you loads.