By Nimi Stephanie Ekere.

Last year, we were woken up to the news of a student who tried to poison his colleague because she was doing better than him, academically. This was to say the

least, frightening. That for me, set my mind wondering what the home environment of the said student was. If a child in Secondary school could think of something so terrible, it clearly showed that his family, which is the smallest unit of the society was in a wrong state. The reason is that the family forms most of a person’s values, at least at that tender age.

Recently, the suicide rate in the country has become so alarmingly high and particularly scary amongst young people. Young people take their lives for the flimsiest reasons. It’s either you hear that they took their lives because they were heartbroken in their relationship, they failed an exam or someone spoke to them badly.

In the past, we were known for our resilience and ability to adapt to even the most unfriendly situations, so what suddenly changed?

I would like us to look into the family setting and review our parenting styles and strategies. A lot has changed. Yes, I think a lot has changed so much; and this does not mean that our parents were perfect in the past. They made their mistakes but to a very large extent, they did a lot of things right.

Many modern day parents are so concerned about pleasing their children that a lot of areas are left unattended to. There seems to be no standards and values which are the bedrock of effective parenting.

The twenty first century parent is caught up in the web of an extremely busy schedule in the pursuit of money and when they make it, throw it at the child and fail to invest quality time with their children and lose the opportunity to discover their children and what they are growing up to become.

For many of these children, integrity means little or nothing, and the child having nothing to emulate, seeks help from his peers and the television.

Nannies have taken over the place of mothers in the lives of these children. And because parents are not always visible, and even if they are visible, they are unavailable, there lies a wide communication breakdown. And if a child cannot talk

or discuss everything with his parents, there usually are deadly alternatives for them.

Parents try to compensate for these deficiencies with wonderful vacations, gifts, expensive clothes and shoes and other luxuries. While these are wonderful, they do not take the place of deliberate, intentional and effective parenting.

Also, a lot of children are suffering from low self-esteem because of the unrealistic expectations and pressures from their parents. ‘Have you seen Linda’s results?’

Why can’t you come first place like Jonathan?’ This is all the child hears and gradually, his self-esteem completely gets eroded and he starts seeking for validation from external sources. He begins to have envy, hatred and unhealthy competitions as part of his everyday life.

This begins to manifest in his behaviour towards others. An example is the case of the seventeen year old boy that was left to drown by his friends because they were jealous of him. There are multiples of examples to buttress the fact that we must go back to the basics.

Parenting must be done right if we want to see this generation of children do better than us. There is a vacuum that must be filled. We must listen to these young ones. We must try to create time for them. Our values must not be thrown out, they must be instilled in our children. We can love our children without necessarily giving them everything they want. There should be discipline

in parenting. Sometimes, giving them all they want is not to their advantage. We must learn to know when to draw the line.

Their strengths should be celebrated while their weaknesses worked on. Unhealthy competitions are really unhealthy for them. We must know that every child is unique and is created differently with a special gift to change her world.

Prayer is an inevitable tool in effective parenting. Every word of prayer said on our children’s behalf is a seed that will germinate and yield fruits, good fruits. This said, prayers must go hand in hand with hard work as even the Bible admonishes us to intentionally, train up our children in a way that they should go and when they are old, they would not depart from it.

Thank you for reading this, I hope to get your feedback.

Dr Nimi Stephanie Ekere is a wife, mother and Family Physician. She enjoys writing, reading and attending to her patients.  She is a life coach and teacher, who is passionate about children and young people walking in the right course and path to achieve their full potential.

Her Foundation, Ekom Charity Foundation mentors young people and also cares for the less privileged.

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By Olamide Falase.

The Million Dollar Loaf of Bread…

Remember when I told you earlier https://ovundahnyeche.com/2019/01/08/money-matters-part-i/ that there are some boring terms about money that you need to remember?

Let me ask you this question.

Which is more important, how much money you have, or what you can purchase with what you have?

To a Zimbabwean, that question is a “no-brainer”, he’ll probably say, “Of course it is what you can purchase (You see, there was a time a loaf of bread cost Z$35 Million – in case, you were wondering what I wrote, it’s 35 million Zimbabwean Dollars. You don’t believe me? Check this out https://www.jasonhartman.com/price-of-a-loaf-of-bread-jump…/ )

One very vital way of looking at money is to always think of it in terms of “its purchasing power”.

If someone offered you, US$10,000 or N3 Million which would you accept?

Remember that 3 million is a lot more than 10 thousand (in fact, 30 times more) however, a simple exchange rate comparison will have you opting for the US$10,000 precisely because the US$ is a better STORAGE OF VALUE than the Naira.

Of course choosing between the US$ and the Naira is, to most, a simple decision, but imagine if you had to choose between getting N3 Million right now, or N3.5 Million in 2 years’ time (Both amounts are guaranteed).

Now the choosing becomes more interesting, although I suspect that most Nigerians will settle for the N3 Million today, but I am also willing to wager that it is not for reasons that has to do with understanding how money works.

Make I digress small!!

Always remember that no matter how much or little you earn, you are someone’s “gbogbo bigs boy” or “gbogbo bigs gehs”

What this means is, there is ALWAYS something you can set aside from your current earnings and still maintain a standard of living.

It helps to imagine that there is someone, somewhere, right this minute, who may not even live too far away from you, who can subsist on what is left from your earnings after you have set some of it aside as savings.

Trust me, it is not hard to imagine it, and even much more easier to experience.

You just have to make up your mind to do it.

The toughest part is overcoming the false notion that you are as rich as what you wear, drive, eat or live in.

Truth is, you are as rich as what you cannot do without. The fewer the things you cannot do without, the wealthier you are likely going to become.

Saving money wouldn’t make you wealthy, but you cannot become wealthy without developing an attitude of savings..

I had to jump a whole lot of steps in my “money series” to get here, and so, there will likely be many people who wouldn’t understand what on God’s planet I am talking about; for that I apologize profusely.

I just thought I needed to say this to someone who would need the encouragement to develop an attitude of needing less than they earn.

Olamide Falase has nearly 18 years industry experience, which spans the Banking, Food Services, Civil Construction and the downstream sector of the Nigerian Oil and Gas industry, most of which has been in management and leadership positions. He presents industry related issues in a relatable format, easy for a broad range of people, not only to understand but to also relate to.

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By Olamide Falase 

It has been nearly 18 years since I entered the “productive labor force” of the Nigerian economy.

Providence led me to have this part of my life begin in one of its most economically viable sectors – Banking.

So, I guess it would be okay to say that I had been closely acquainted with money very early on.

Oddly, in spite of this “familiarity” with money; counting it, accounting for it, helping others save it, earning it – earning loads and loads of it, spending it (ah! Spending it!), giving it, receiving it as a gift, borrowing it, lending it etc. In spite of all these, money, until recently has remained an enigma of sorts, a hard to grasp concept that has kept me befuddled these many years.

“Don’t spend what you can, spend only what you must”

I must confess that I never truly understood money, even though I made loads of it, I never really was able to wrap my mind around its principles and now, looking back, I realize that I, like many other people, assumed that, to have a lot of it, is to understand it and of course to master it.

When Jesus’ disciples saw him pray, they said to him, “Rabbi, TEACH US TO PRAY…”

You see, there are some things you honestly think you know how to do until you have to do it.

Many times we assume that having a desire equals to know how. So, because we, as Christians, desire to pray, we assume, erroneously, that desire means we know how to pray; but then we must come to realize, like the disciples did, that some things have to be taught.

Like prayer, Money has to be learned and mastered; and the strange thing about money is that many of its principles are “counter-intuitive”; in other words, they don’t readily avail us of themselves; we have to look with a “fresh pair of eyes” to finally GET IT!

In the last quarter of last year, I stumbled into some of the “best kept ‘non-secrets’” about money, when I was invited to a session on money by a friend.

That class changed my life (I am not exaggerating) and it caused me to ruminate over and over again, these principles of money that I will attempt to share – in a series of posts here

First things, first…

One of the biggest put offs about studying or attempting to gain insight about money is that it always gets slightly “technical” and technical is another word for boring.

Maybe that is why people never learn about money, because money is boring.

Don’t get me wrong o!

It is great to own, fun to spend and much more fun to be given by others; but, let’s face it, it is booooring joor!!

Sadly, we can’t really understand money without the boring stuff.

There are a few terms that we must acquaint ourselves with if we want to “take money seriously” words like:

ASSET
MEDIUM OF EXCHANGE
UNIT OF ACCOUNT
STORE OF VALUE
PURCHASING POWER.

All these words will come in handy for the person finally interested in learning about money.

I was told by my money coach that to know anything, I have to know about its origin and its purpose.

Okay, I am not going to go into the origin of money, I will just say, “As exchange of goods became too complex for trade by “barter”, money became a stable and more acceptable medium of exchange”; this means that if I had yams and I need oranges badly, I don’t have to look for someone who has oranges and needs yams (which would take many many days, even in a small community). All I have to do is take some money, go to the market, and buy oranges (and hopefully sell my yams too…)

I told you it was boring…

“An Asset” is anything tangible or intangible that can be OWNED or CONTROLLED to PRODUCE VALUE (that is, Positive Economic Value) – please note the words in caps, they will come in handy later…

“A Store of Value” is the function of an asset that can be SAVED, RETRIEVED, and EXCHANGED at a later time, and be predictably useful when retrieved.

A store of value is anything that RETAINS PURCHASING POWER.

I am not even going to bother you with UNIT OF ACCOUNT.

Why is knowing all these things about money important?

You will find out soon…

Olamide Falase has nearly 18 years industry experience, which spans the Banking, Food Services, Civil Construction and the downstream sector of the Nigerian Oil and Gas industry, most of which has been in management and leadership positions. He presents industry related issues in a relatable format, easy for a broad range of people, not only to understand but to also relate to.

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