By Ovundah Nyeche.
But, but you see a tear rubber couple dancing endlessly on their wedding day… emmmmmm 6 months down the line, do you still dance like that?
Has that romantic ballroom dance changed to “kolomental”…
You see them feed themselves romantically… but 6 months down the line, has feeding changed to Sammie if you like eat, if you don’t like don’t eat…
Or Nkechi, where is my food… don’t you have hands, I just made me fine nails… If you can’t get food for yourself… Tell the maid to fix you something to eat…
Wives not cook…
You see the lights, beautiful colours, and stars… And months down the line, colours change to horror, and stars become slap induced…
You hear the beautiful message, and the wonderful counseling sections… But months down the line… They take advise from every Tom, Dick and Harry…
The lady gulps every advise about relationships from 2 ladies, one who has never had a stable relationship for more than 3 months, as the “Wu wu not take it” spirit always has its way….
And a 2nd one who gives advise she does not follow… The 2nd lady advises them no to submit, tells them how to do “crinkum crankum”, but offline for her house she dey Hear maximum word.
Her husband is a story for another day…
You see them give their first public kiss, so long and romantic… But, but, 6 months down the line, kiss is becoming like snow in Nigeria, and becoming as scarce as Suya in the morning.
In other news,
Your wedding is not a destination, but the beginning of a beautiful journey.
Keep being selfless…
Keep chasing your wife…
Keep practicing on your flows..
Keep being excited and exciting..
Yesterday I was told by my wife that I have stopped saying, “Love you” when we finish talking on phone… Meaning Abobi needs to take refresher’s course and improve on his flows…
Abro, when last did you chase your wife (I don’t mean with broom, cane, belt or cutlass)?
Abro, when last did you dig open those covered refreshing wells?
Abro, when last did you look at her waist, when she walked past, and smiled sheepishly?
Abro, when last did you poetically and practically adore and praise her?
Abro, when last did you make her know she is the game, the competition, the priority and the queen?
Abro, we have work to do.
Which is why you do not just wake up and marry just anyone.
Let’s all make our marriages work…
Let’s us stand against the onslaught..
It is a full time job and it needs both hands on deck.
Anyone that shows my wife this post…. I go just deny you… It is not my real handwriting.
Again what do I know?
Wisdom for two
By Ovundah Nyeche.
One of the many questions I ask people getting married, is what their expectations about marriage is? And what exactly they expect from their spouse? And as always respect, love, protection, submission, provision, companionship, children etc. may mean different things to different couples and people.
Many times many of the disappointment about marriage is that many of these expectations, many not voiced, written or expressly communicated are not met… And many times many of these expectations are formed from social media, music lyrics, films and many are without a tinge of reality.
Wisdom is really knowing and agreeing on these expectations and also knowing that things may not exactly go according to plan and when they don’t, both couple should be willing to negotiate unexpected bends and do all within their ability to make their home work.
A good home is not wished for, it is not just prayed for, it is worked for by both parties and it is a full time job.
I don’t know who is going through difficult times at home, or navigating bends you never envisioned, or disillusioned with what you are currently seeing… getting scored early goals, by the team called ‘challenges’, does not necessarily mean you will lose the match or your home; getting knocked down in the first round by challenges, does not necessarily mean you have lost out completely.
It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies. It’s better to be wise than strong; intelligence outranks muscle any day. Strategic planning is the key to warfare; to win, you need a lot of good counsel. Proverbs 24:3-6 MSG
Wisdom oh Lord we pray, wisdom oh Lord we apply. @ovdiasis
Wisdom for two…
By Ovundah Nyeche.
Months ago, I was privileged to be a guest, in an all women therapy session…
And the moderator, wanted the participants to open up and talk…
And gave a caveat, when it was time for the feedback…
“No men bashing, will be allowed here”, she said, I loved this,as the session focused on issues and not gender or sex chromosomes.
In my observation, and my journey hearing stories and helping people, I know there are 3 sides to every story.
His side, her side and the TRUTH, which may be her side of the story, his side of the story, their stories or none of their story…
Are you are man, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those who tell you, all women are evil, beat am, cheat more, knack am something, fear women etc… Be careful of closed groups that paint women as evil and fan your indiscretions, idiosyncrasies and stupidity…be careful about any group that makes you more toxic.
Are you a woman, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those that tell you, to get rid of the man and make him disappear, they won’t serve your jail term/death sentence with you… Be wary of people that tell you to spill the sweet blood, that has turned sour… Be wary of people especially that have intact marriages, but shout at the top of their voice ‘Menascum’, be careful about those who ended their marriages and encourage you to do so, at the slightest sneeze…
Be careful about groups, that encourage you to pour bile orally, visually or via text…
Are you a Christian, be careful about taking decisions, that though are popular and would give you likes and shares, and hail you as brave… But are contrary to the Word of God…
Be careful about making life changing decisions, when you are very enraged and clouded by emotions…
I said I should let you know…
Many times what you need is wisdom… You cannot use a razor blade to cut an iroko tree, because it can cut your toenail…
hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries
Two can walk together forever…
By Ovundah Nyeche.
In all thy getting, don’t break your marriage or enter marital problems because of things you read on social media.
All these you are so brave, na so, if it is me… I will not take it… Nonsense man or woman… If he does it, I will do him/her back… Men and women must be put in their place, meniscus, womeniscus, et al… May not be the best for you.
It is also important to note that, people who pour and fire, fire on social media, may not be what they fire in real life…also it is important not to build your marriage on templates that may be faulty.
Like football, great coaches, have a plan or tactics to use, but adapt with the game at hand… Great coaches know when to go for possession and when to concede possession…they know goals and not stats win matches.
As a Christian, my allegiance is to the Word of God, and it guides my relationship with my spouse.
You ginger all the ginger and the word of God, reminds you, O boy, you no try, O boy just look your face for mirror, see that plank wey dey your eyes… 😂 😂 😂 And boom you want to drag leg… But the word of God is not your mate… And you obey and get back your peace…
Like I tell those I tell… Marriage is not war, it is not male vs female… It is not pishim pishim … But a deliberate union, where a man and his wife makes a decision together surmount any challenge and be all what God has destined for them …
If both of you agree to #hearword and both bring 💯 into the union, not 50-50, both of you are vulnerable and open to yourself in your union and ditch the “do you know who I am” or “I did you a favour by marrying you” 😂 😂 😂 and are willing to make your marriage work irrespective of the normal stresses of the relationship… Where both of you look out for the good of your spouse and are willing to walk and work it out to success…
Marriage is a full time job… Don’t allow social media deceive you, it requires investment and thought in the direction you wish it to take… marriage is a wonderful thing…
Everyday airplanes take off and land… Ironically it is the planes that crash or have turbulence that make news… Everyday cars go on long distance journeys and arrive, but it is those that crash or have a mishap that make news…Ships also leave ports and arrive at their destinations, but again, disaster makes more news.
Don’t allow crashes define or determine the mood of your journey…who goes for a journey and is preoccupied about a crash.
It will work out, it is working out… If you are not hearing word in any area of your life be it anger, infidelity, violence, et al … Go and seek for help and don’t commonize it… Get accountable… Invest in knowledge…fix self… Do all you can to make your marriage work.
#selah #hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries
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