By Ovundah Nyeche.
The beautiful dark faces, the beautiful smiles don’t tell the whole story. Farmers looking, posing, saying cheese and smiling as they reap their harvest. No sweats, all made up, looking cool, they make you want to be a farmer.
Have you ever been involved in farming? Well I have in a very very very small scale and I have a friend who is involved in a very very large scale. He has a very large farm and believe me he is not smiling at least for now (well he was smiling when I saw him yesterday).
All hands are on deck. He first got the land, cleared it, got the seedlings; well not sure of the order, employed workers. He smiled as the first seedlings sprouted and believe me the farm took my friend away from me.
He is now a farmer though that was not what he studied in school. He has started studying farming vocabulary and in no distant time started saying words like herbicides, pests, pesticides, manure, compost, weeding, agriculturist, consultant, rodents and yield. He had to do courses to get in terms with his new found love.
At a time some of his plants were sick, yeah literally sick and some died and he had to call in an expert to treat or is it uproot them. Yesterday he showed me pictures of harvested plantains.
He said he harvested more than 100 bunches and he also showed me a very long cucumber, his years of toiling was gradually paying of, but he is not resting on his oars. The story goes on, but I will end here today.
My intention was not to talk about plants but about your relationship, about your marriage. Forget about all the beautiful pictures of couples you see on social media, mine inclusive.
Those smiles real or fake require a whole lot sacrifice, quality time, availability, beautiful surprises, study, prayers, humility, apologies, discipline, giving, switching off your phone sometimes, discussions/ two way communication, respect, forgiveness, letting go and so much more.
How important is your wife to you? How do you lead and tend you spouse? Do you quit so easily and help your self with other options when your wife is not meeting up to your standard?
How important is your husband to you? How important? Do you love him more than things? Do you continually nag or throw a tantrum or declare a strike to always prove a point?
The devil hates a united family and will do all to cause disunity and a breakdown of your family, he will do everything to ensure your kids have a distorted view about marriage, he will do all to make your kids think you have to beat a lady for her to submit, or for them to think it’s game to sulk your spouse out of existence, he will do everything to make sure you have a broken marriage and broken kids.
But he does not have the last say, give your children the best gift you can- A great family.
A bountiful harvest does not just happen, play your part, all hands must be on deck.
Wisdom for two
By Ovundah Nyeche.
One of the many questions I ask people getting married, is what their expectations about marriage is? And what exactly they expect from their spouse? And as always respect, love, protection, submission, provision, companionship, children etc. may mean different things to different couples and people.
Many times many of the disappointment about marriage is that many of these expectations, many not voiced, written or expressly communicated are not met… And many times many of these expectations are formed from social media, music lyrics, films and many are without a tinge of reality.
Wisdom is really knowing and agreeing on these expectations and also knowing that things may not exactly go according to plan and when they don’t, both couple should be willing to negotiate unexpected bends and do all within their ability to make their home work.
A good home is not wished for, it is not just prayed for, it is worked for by both parties and it is a full time job.
I don’t know who is going through difficult times at home, or navigating bends you never envisioned, or disillusioned with what you are currently seeing… getting scored early goals, by the team called ‘challenges’, does not necessarily mean you will lose the match or your home; getting knocked down in the first round by challenges, does not necessarily mean you have lost out completely.
It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies. It’s better to be wise than strong; intelligence outranks muscle any day. Strategic planning is the key to warfare; to win, you need a lot of good counsel. Proverbs 24:3-6 MSG
Wisdom oh Lord we pray, wisdom oh Lord we apply. @ovdiasis
Wisdom for two…
By Ovundah Nyeche.
Months ago, I was privileged to be a guest, in an all women therapy session…
And the moderator, wanted the participants to open up and talk…
And gave a caveat, when it was time for the feedback…
“No men bashing, will be allowed here”, she said, I loved this,as the session focused on issues and not gender or sex chromosomes.
In my observation, and my journey hearing stories and helping people, I know there are 3 sides to every story.
His side, her side and the TRUTH, which may be her side of the story, his side of the story, their stories or none of their story…
Are you are man, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those who tell you, all women are evil, beat am, cheat more, knack am something, fear women etc… Be careful of closed groups that paint women as evil and fan your indiscretions, idiosyncrasies and stupidity…be careful about any group that makes you more toxic.
Are you a woman, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those that tell you, to get rid of the man and make him disappear, they won’t serve your jail term/death sentence with you… Be wary of people that tell you to spill the sweet blood, that has turned sour… Be wary of people especially that have intact marriages, but shout at the top of their voice ‘Menascum’, be careful about those who ended their marriages and encourage you to do so, at the slightest sneeze…
Be careful about groups, that encourage you to pour bile orally, visually or via text…
Are you a Christian, be careful about taking decisions, that though are popular and would give you likes and shares, and hail you as brave… But are contrary to the Word of God…
Be careful about making life changing decisions, when you are very enraged and clouded by emotions…
I said I should let you know…
Many times what you need is wisdom… You cannot use a razor blade to cut an iroko tree, because it can cut your toenail…
hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries
Two can walk together forever…
By Ovundah Nyeche.
In all thy getting, don’t break your marriage or enter marital problems because of things you read on social media.
All these you are so brave, na so, if it is me… I will not take it… Nonsense man or woman… If he does it, I will do him/her back… Men and women must be put in their place, meniscus, womeniscus, et al… May not be the best for you.
It is also important to note that, people who pour and fire, fire on social media, may not be what they fire in real life…also it is important not to build your marriage on templates that may be faulty.
Like football, great coaches, have a plan or tactics to use, but adapt with the game at hand… Great coaches know when to go for possession and when to concede possession…they know goals and not stats win matches.
As a Christian, my allegiance is to the Word of God, and it guides my relationship with my spouse.
You ginger all the ginger and the word of God, reminds you, O boy, you no try, O boy just look your face for mirror, see that plank wey dey your eyes… 😂 😂 😂 And boom you want to drag leg… But the word of God is not your mate… And you obey and get back your peace…
Like I tell those I tell… Marriage is not war, it is not male vs female… It is not pishim pishim … But a deliberate union, where a man and his wife makes a decision together surmount any challenge and be all what God has destined for them …
If both of you agree to #hearword and both bring 💯 into the union, not 50-50, both of you are vulnerable and open to yourself in your union and ditch the “do you know who I am” or “I did you a favour by marrying you” 😂 😂 😂 and are willing to make your marriage work irrespective of the normal stresses of the relationship… Where both of you look out for the good of your spouse and are willing to walk and work it out to success…
Marriage is a full time job… Don’t allow social media deceive you, it requires investment and thought in the direction you wish it to take… marriage is a wonderful thing…
Everyday airplanes take off and land… Ironically it is the planes that crash or have turbulence that make news… Everyday cars go on long distance journeys and arrive, but it is those that crash or have a mishap that make news…Ships also leave ports and arrive at their destinations, but again, disaster makes more news.
Don’t allow crashes define or determine the mood of your journey…who goes for a journey and is preoccupied about a crash.
It will work out, it is working out… If you are not hearing word in any area of your life be it anger, infidelity, violence, et al … Go and seek for help and don’t commonize it… Get accountable… Invest in knowledge…fix self… Do all you can to make your marriage work.
#selah #hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries
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