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Man know thyself.

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By Chituru Weje.

In my first year in university, going to classrooms to read overnight, popularly called “TDB” (Till Day Break) was the rave. The only time I had done “TDB” prior to then was in my final class in Secondary school when I stayed up all night copying a note by candlelight just so that I could ‘feel among’, as my classmates had been talking about it.

When I entered university everyone around me seemed to be going for “TDB”, so I went too. Every night, we would leave the hostel at 10 pm when Dan Etete hostel gates (name of my hostel) were locked and return at 5 am when the gates were reopened.

We would arrive the lecture rooms at Ofrima hall (a hall in the University of Port Harcourt, Nigeria) armed with our chewing gums, biscuits and water (I was not doing coffee yet). Our “TDB” usually entailed spending about an hour settling in, an hour reading, after which we would stroll for about 30 minutes checking out other people whose reading seemed to be going better than ours had been and calling them ‘Jacko’, a term reserved for nerds.

It seemed though, that some people’s “TDB” comprised solely of examining others who came to read without doing any apparent reading themselves. I would then attempt to resume reading after the break, but after about 30 minutes, my body would give in to the fatigue and I would lie down on the hard bench to sleep.

I would sleep from then till 5 am when the hostel gates were re-opened, and would wake up feeling like a truck ran over me. Then myself and the crew would return to the hostel to have a quick bath and return to MBA 1, Ofrima Hall for an early morning lecture.

You had to return quickly, before 6 am else you would either sit on the edge of the podium, or stand on the aisle or outside the window. Yes, the learning conditions were deplorable, but that is not the subject for today. One senior colleague who used to come motivate myself and my classmates academically said that we should not spend too much time sleeping.

Sleeping too much would let your life slip past you and one should not spend more than 4 hours per day on sleep. I began to focus on reducing my body’s sleep ration; more than 6 hours was an abomination, less that 4 hours was the target. Before long, I found myself sleeping during lectures very often.

One time, I woke up at the end of the English lecture to notice that my textbook was missing. I never found it again. One day, during a Physics lecture, the lecturer had only just started speaking when I felt the warm arms of sleep embracing me. I decided to fight him! How could I continue being bodily present in class but spiritually absent? I forced myself to stay awake by sheer willpower, but it did not work.

Then I stepped out to get something to chew on, but the sleep embraced me tighter, as though I were a long-lost lover. Me, sleep? No way I was gonna let that happen. Enough was enough! I remembered a Tom and Jerry episode I had watched as a child where Tom had inserted a matchstick in his eye to keep his eyelids from coming together. There was no matchstick, so I made do with my hands.

One hand to each eye, thumbs beneath the lower lids, index fingers on the upper lids, to keep the both of them from kissing. I had found my solution! Then I woke up. I had slept for about 30 minutes and by the time I woke, the class was almost being rounded up. I just felt so weak. And of course, immediately the lecturer stepped out, my sleep-lover abandoned me and my alertness returned.

I wish I could say that was the last time I did “TDB”, but it probably took a bit longer before I learnt how my body worked and began to stay in my lane. Now if someone tells me ‘If you sleep 8 hours a day, by the time you are 60, you would have spent 20 years of your life sleeping’, I tell them, ‘I would also have spent 40 years awake!

If I cannot achieve something in those 40 years, it is not in the remaining 20 that I will achieve it.’

Summary? Man, know thyself!

Chituru Weje is a physician who, loves to laugh, love, and live life fully.

She also likes to tell stories of the funny commas in her life.

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3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Dionakovie Ikenna Obuh

    January 30, 2018 at 8:55 am

    Story of my life. It took a total stranger trying to fondle my thigh while I was asleep in MBA 1 to make me decide firmly “this is not for me”!
    Told him off real good, but I was embarrassed for a long time.
    I never read at night in class again.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      February 1, 2018 at 5:31 am

      Thank you for your feedback

    • Avatar

      Chitrue Kechi Myrna Weje

      February 10, 2018 at 9:43 am

      OMGoodness! Kovie, I can’t imagine how that must’ve felt. That’s enough to scare anyone away from TDB. I’m glad nothing bad happened to you

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Features

Going back to the basics.

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By Nimi Stephanie Ekere.

Last year, we were woken up to the news of a student who tried to poison his colleague because she was doing better than him, academically. This was to say the

least, frightening. That for me, set my mind wondering what the home environment of the said student was. If a child in Secondary school could think of something so terrible, it clearly showed that his family, which is the smallest unit of the society was in a wrong state. The reason is that the family forms most of a person’s values, at least at that tender age.

 

Recently, the suicide rate in the country has become so alarmingly high and particularly scary amongst young people. Young people take their lives for the flimsiest reasons. It’s either you hear that they took their lives because they were heartbroken in their relationship, they failed an exam or someone spoke to them badly.

 

In the past, we were known for our resilience and ability to adapt to even the most unfriendly situations, so what suddenly changed?

 

I would like us to look into the family setting and review our parenting styles and strategies. A lot has changed. Yes, I think a lot has changed so much; and this does not mean that our parents were perfect in the past. They made their mistakes but to a very large extent, they did a lot of things right.

 

Many modern day parents are so concerned about pleasing their children that a lot of areas are left unattended to. There seems to be no standards and values which are the bedrock of effective parenting.

 

The twenty first century parent is caught up in the web of an extremely busy schedule in the pursuit of money and when they make it, throw it at the child and fail to invest quality time with their children and lose the opportunity to discover their children and what they are growing up to become.

 

For many of these children, integrity means little or nothing, and the child having nothing to emulate, seeks help from his peers and the television.

 

Nannies have taken over the place of mothers in the lives of these children. And because parents are not always visible, and even if they are visible, they are unavailable, there lies a wide communication breakdown. And if a child cannot talk

or discuss everything with his parents, there usually are deadly alternatives for them.

 

Parents try to compensate for these deficiencies with wonderful vacations, gifts, expensive clothes and shoes and other luxuries. While these are wonderful, they do not take the place of deliberate, intentional and effective parenting.

 

Also, a lot of children are suffering from low self-esteem because of the unrealistic expectations and pressures from their parents. ‘Have you seen Linda’s results?’

Why can’t you come first place like Jonathan?’ This is all the child hears and gradually, his self-esteem completely gets eroded and he starts seeking for validation from external sources. He begins to have envy, hatred and unhealthy competitions as part of his everyday life.

 

This begins to manifest in his behaviour towards others. An example is the case of the seventeen year old boy that was left to drown by his friends because they were jealous of him. There are multiples of examples to buttress the fact that we must go back to the basics.

Parenting must be done right if we want to see this generation of children do better than us. There is a vacuum that must be filled. We must listen to these young ones. We must try to create time for them. Our values must not be thrown out, they must be instilled in our children. We can love our children without necessarily giving them everything they want. There should be discipline

in parenting. Sometimes, giving them all they want is not to their advantage. We must learn to know when to draw the line.

 

Their strengths should be celebrated while their weaknesses worked on. Unhealthy competitions are really unhealthy for them. We must know that every child is unique and is created differently with a special gift to change her world.

 

Prayer is an inevitable tool in effective parenting. Every word of prayer said on our children’s behalf is a seed that will germinate and yield fruits, good fruits. This said, prayers must go hand in hand with hard work as even the Bible admonishes us to intentionally, train up our children in a way that they should go and when they are old, they would not depart from it.

 

Thank you for reading this, I hope to get your feedback.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr Nimi Stephanie Ekere is a wife, mother and Family Physician. She enjoys writing, reading and attending to her patients.  She is a life coach and teacher, who is passionate about children and young people walking in the right course and path to achieve their full potential.

Her Foundation, Ekom Charity Foundation mentors young people and also cares for the less privileged.

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Features

Sex: The Naked Truth, through my eyes…

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By Excel Agoziem.

So I got to know Dr. Ovundah Nyeche on Facebook. I always found myself reading his beautiful posts. So, after he published Sex, the Naked Truth, I got an autographed copy directly from him and had an amazing read.

This book carries so much of Dr’s God-given wisdom, being a balanced combination of God’s standard for sexual relations, embedded in stories and actual life experiences.

While I initially thought it had teenagers as target audience, when I began reading, I found that I needed it as much, (everyone does) and even parents as well, for the sake of their children.

Sex, the Naked Truth, first teaches that it is God who made sex and all kinds of pleasures, so just as a manufacturer has his user manuals of everything invented by him, so God has His own guidelines on what He made. Yea, of course He made sex.

This book will open your eyes to various truths and expose certain repercussions of not having it God’s way- those consequences you know aren’t all there are, get this book and you will be amazed at what humans expose themselves to, for not having it God’s way.

You will also find different people’s stories shared in it, for your instruction.

Above all, you will learn that you are a priced possession and your body isn’t yours. You will learn how to glorify God with your body.

You will learn that not everyone is being defied, (a lot of people think and say that everyone is), and that just as God had 7,000 uncorrupted prophets in the time Elijah, (Rom 11:4, 1 Kings 19:18) He still has chaste sons and daughters in this age.
You will learn self control.
and the fear of God.

PS: To get this book for yourself, children and friends, just everyone, you can click on the links below.

Or reach the author via 📧 sexthenakedtruth@gmail.com

Udo🙌🙌🙌

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Features

Money Matters Part II

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By Olamide Falase.

The Million Dollar Loaf of Bread…

Remember when I told you earlier https://ovundahnyeche.com/2019/01/08/money-matters-part-i/ that there are some boring terms about money that you need to remember?

Let me ask you this question.

Which is more important, how much money you have, or what you can purchase with what you have?

To a Zimbabwean, that question is a “no-brainer”, he’ll probably say, “Of course it is what you can purchase (You see, there was a time a loaf of bread cost Z$35 Million – in case, you were wondering what I wrote, it’s 35 million Zimbabwean Dollars. You don’t believe me? Check this out https://www.jasonhartman.com/price-of-a-loaf-of-bread-jump…/ )

One very vital way of looking at money is to always think of it in terms of “its purchasing power”.

If someone offered you, US$10,000 or N3 Million which would you accept?

Remember that 3 million is a lot more than 10 thousand (in fact, 30 times more) however, a simple exchange rate comparison will have you opting for the US$10,000 precisely because the US$ is a better STORAGE OF VALUE than the Naira.

Of course choosing between the US$ and the Naira is, to most, a simple decision, but imagine if you had to choose between getting N3 Million right now, or N3.5 Million in 2 years’ time (Both amounts are guaranteed).

Now the choosing becomes more interesting, although I suspect that most Nigerians will settle for the N3 Million today, but I am also willing to wager that it is not for reasons that has to do with understanding how money works.

Make I digress small!!

Always remember that no matter how much or little you earn, you are someone’s “gbogbo bigs boy” or “gbogbo bigs gehs”

What this means is, there is ALWAYS something you can set aside from your current earnings and still maintain a standard of living.

It helps to imagine that there is someone, somewhere, right this minute, who may not even live too far away from you, who can subsist on what is left from your earnings after you have set some of it aside as savings.

Trust me, it is not hard to imagine it, and even much more easier to experience.

You just have to make up your mind to do it.

The toughest part is overcoming the false notion that you are as rich as what you wear, drive, eat or live in.

Truth is, you are as rich as what you cannot do without. The fewer the things you cannot do without, the wealthier you are likely going to become.

Saving money wouldn’t make you wealthy, but you cannot become wealthy without developing an attitude of savings..

I had to jump a whole lot of steps in my “money series” to get here, and so, there will likely be many people who wouldn’t understand what on God’s planet I am talking about; for that I apologize profusely.

I just thought I needed to say this to someone who would need the encouragement to develop an attitude of needing less than they earn.

 

Olamide Falase has nearly 18 years industry experience, which spans the Banking, Food Services, Civil Construction and the downstream sector of the Nigerian Oil and Gas industry, most of which has been in management and leadership positions. He presents industry related issues in a relatable format, easy for a broad range of people, not only to understand but to also relate to.

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