Recently after writing a post on the need for parents to teach their kids about sex and tell them what God says about it. A parent asked a question which I have put below.
Though there were a lot of responses, this two, caught the eyes and did justice to the subject raised. With their permission I had to make a blog post from their responses and I hope it benefits you.
Question: At what age should children be taught about sex and what exactly do you tell them? My kids have asked me how I got pregnant and how the baby came out. I couldn’t tell them exactly how I got pregnant, but I told them exactly how the baby came out.
Ihechiluru Anozie: Tell them daddy slept with mummy and she got pregnant. When they ask you what “slept” means, if above 5-6 years, tell them that daddy and mummy had sex, a special coming together meant only for married people and pregnancy resulted.
By 8-9 years, inform them of the organs involved in sex, but from the word go…let them know it is so pure and good that God reserved it exclusively for married couples.
By age 10-11 educate them that having sexual feelings would come as puberty sets in and explain to them the changes that will happen in their body so that it would not be a surprise to them.
Expect them to tell you, mummy when can I start having sex? Joyfully answer them… When you are married.
If they ask you, “When will I get married?” Answer them that it is when you are old enough as a full grown adult.
We need to teach our children all they need to know on “A need to know basis”.
As they grow older, give them the level of information their brain can assimilate. Smile, be happy with teaching them so that they know that sex is pure and sweet! Don’t squeeze your face; don’t make it look like “Why are you asking this question?” They will learn the TRUTH about sex from us parents and that is always the best. Thank you
Chiemezie Claire Anyanwu: Children of this generation are far smarter and more aware than previous generations. The Bible says knowledge shall increase and we can see that happening.
My take, if a child is old enough to ask any question on sex no matter the age, then he/she is also old enough to get an age appropriate answer. Do not hush them, do not mystify sex, use age appropriate words/explanations. If they insist or venture to ask to know more, please trust me, tell them yourself or they will get other explanations you may not like from peers, the internet, TV or others sources you don’t want.
Sex should not be presented to the older children as dirty, it will only pique their curiosity and get them trying things they shouldn’t.
God made Sex and it is good WITHIN the boundary of marriage. Boundaries must be taught to children early. Call body parts as they are known, don’t sugarcoat them e.g. it is vagina not “pussy” etc.
So much to say but one last thing, Sex education is best under an atmosphere of trust, care and friendship, teaching your child about sex and giving them rules and regulations when you are not even there for them in other things is a joke.
A child doesn’t just need your presents, he/she desires your presence. You don’t mentor from afar, discipling is done proximally.
Dr Ihechiluru Anozie is a young psychiatrist with interest in Addiction Psychiatry. A Pastor and Teacher of God’s Word in simple but sublime ways. He is a husband to First Lady Hannah and father of 4 brilliant children.
Dr Chiemezie Claire Anyanwu is a doctor of optometry with over 20 years experience. She is an instructor and the Healing school Coordinator for Rhema Bible Training Centre Nigeria. She is also a Minister in The Father’s Church, Abuja.
She itinerates nationally preaching and helping set up healing schools for churches. She’s the CEO of Claire’s Cakes & More Ltd and Head of the NGO: The Love Soup Kitchen. She and her husband are Passionate about and active in the helps, marriage and family ministries.
She’s been married for 18 years to Uche Anyanwu, a legal practitioner. And together they have 5 children: 4 girls namely Rachel, Beulah, Deborah and Joy and a son Ezra.
Wisdom for two…
By Ovundah Nyeche.
Months ago, I was privileged to be a guest, in an all women therapy session…
And the moderator, wanted the participants to open up and talk…
And gave a caveat, when it was time for the feedback…
“No men bashing, will be allowed here”, she said, I loved this,as the session focused on issues and not gender or sex chromosomes.
In my observation, and my journey hearing stories and helping people, I know there are 3 sides to every story.
His side, her side and the TRUTH, which may be her side of the story, his side of the story, their stories or none of their story…
Are you are man, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those who tell you, all women are evil, beat am, cheat more, knack am something, fear women etc… Be careful of closed groups that paint women as evil and fan your indiscretions, idiosyncrasies and stupidity…be careful about any group that makes you more toxic.
Are you a woman, having turmoil in your marriage;be careful of those that tell you, to get rid of the man and make him disappear, they won’t serve your jail term/death sentence with you… Be wary of people that tell you to spill the sweet blood, that has turned sour… Be wary of people especially that have intact marriages, but shout at the top of their voice ‘Menascum’, be careful about those who ended their marriages and encourage you to do so, at the slightest sneeze…
Be careful about groups, that encourage you to pour bile orally, visually or via text…
Are you a Christian, be careful about taking decisions, that though are popular and would give you likes and shares, and hail you as brave… But are contrary to the Word of God…
Be careful about making life changing decisions, when you are very enraged and clouded by emotions…
I said I should let you know…
Many times what you need is wisdom… You cannot use a razor blade to cut an iroko tree, because it can cut your toenail…
hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries
Two can walk together forever…
By Ovundah Nyeche.
In all thy getting, don’t break your marriage or enter marital problems because of things you read on social media.
All these you are so brave, na so, if it is me… I will not take it… Nonsense man or woman… If he does it, I will do him/her back… Men and women must be put in their place, meniscus, womeniscus, et al… May not be the best for you.
It is also important to note that, people who pour and fire, fire on social media, may not be what they fire in real life…also it is important not to build your marriage on templates that may be faulty.
Like football, great coaches, have a plan or tactics to use, but adapt with the game at hand… Great coaches know when to go for possession and when to concede possession…they know goals and not stats win matches.
As a Christian, my allegiance is to the Word of God, and it guides my relationship with my spouse.
You ginger all the ginger and the word of God, reminds you, O boy, you no try, O boy just look your face for mirror, see that plank wey dey your eyes… 😂 😂 😂 And boom you want to drag leg… But the word of God is not your mate… And you obey and get back your peace…
Like I tell those I tell… Marriage is not war, it is not male vs female… It is not pishim pishim … But a deliberate union, where a man and his wife makes a decision together surmount any challenge and be all what God has destined for them …
If both of you agree to #hearword and both bring 💯 into the union, not 50-50, both of you are vulnerable and open to yourself in your union and ditch the “do you know who I am” or “I did you a favour by marrying you” 😂 😂 😂 and are willing to make your marriage work irrespective of the normal stresses of the relationship… Where both of you look out for the good of your spouse and are willing to walk and work it out to success…
Marriage is a full time job… Don’t allow social media deceive you, it requires investment and thought in the direction you wish it to take… marriage is a wonderful thing…
Everyday airplanes take off and land… Ironically it is the planes that crash or have turbulence that make news… Everyday cars go on long distance journeys and arrive, but it is those that crash or have a mishap that make news…Ships also leave ports and arrive at their destinations, but again, disaster makes more news.
Don’t allow crashes define or determine the mood of your journey…who goes for a journey and is preoccupied about a crash.
It will work out, it is working out… If you are not hearing word in any area of your life be it anger, infidelity, violence, et al … Go and seek for help and don’t commonize it… Get accountable… Invest in knowledge…fix self… Do all you can to make your marriage work.
#selah #hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries
Is it a good idea for twins to be in the same classroom?
This may look like an unnecessary question, but as a parent of twins, even if they are not identical and are of different sexes, it is very vital.
My twin boy and girl are quite attached even if they have different personalities, in fact if you ask one of the twin his name, he will say his name is that of his twin sister.
Recently, we enrolled them into school and we got a shocker, my darlings were not to be in the same class. They were to have different teachers, minders and classmates.
You know we had never really thought of this academic separation and research into whether they should be in the same class or not, brought interesting points for and against.
So I shared this question on my Facebook timeline ‘Any idea why a school refuses to put twin children in the same class?’
And the thoughts shared were enlightening and I would share some of them here.
Chigoziri Enyi Wodu says ‘I am a twin and I liked having my brother in class with me. We were together all through until University.
I think twins should be left together, after all they came out together for a reason.
FYI: We never played any pranks on our teachers, we worked together and it was great having family (someone I knew always had my back) around.
I think upbringing matters a lot here, we are very independent minded, my brother never fails to tell me when I’m being unreasonable, I do the same too. We may not say it to the hearing of others but we look out for each other.’
Ajiri Edosio says ‘I think they do it so they can freely interact with other children and you know some twins are mischievous, they’ll just be using their teachers and classmates to play pranks. My twin nephews are in different classes’
Ishioma Egun says ‘It is just to avoid distraction among the children and help each child to be responsible for his or her actions. Also from my experience with the twins my Uncle had, they were never in the same class from nursery school to secondary. We saw each persons strength and weaknesses in various aspects of the school work.’
Adaoma Okehie-Onwukaeme says’ ‘The teacher might get confused; in short they will scatter the class. If they are naughty children, one may commit a crime or even both and the teacher may develop headache or even hypertension trying to find out who because as twins they may cover for themselves.’
Ogunjobi Omotolani Jemimah says ‘I taught identical twins two years ago. They were both in my class for a year. There’s no reason why they can’t be in the same class. One of the advantage is you help them build their weakness. It fosters consistent learning especially in their elementary years. Academically,socially and emotionally there is some research to indicate that children actually do better when kept together. The flip side of same class for identical twins is that it doesn’t encourage them to develop their individuality.’
Ikhurionan Idialu Bethsy says ‘To prevent unhealthy competition in case one is doing far better.’
Rehan Obagah Berepele says ‘There is always competition between them, fights and distractions. They don’t associate well with others when together. They need individual development. They do better separated.’
Peace Daniel Gobo says ‘My son recently joined a new school and I personally asked for him to be separated from his friend in the football academy. It is usually better for concentration and better social interaction so he can make new friends. So I’m thinking the same should apply for twins.’
Emenu Samuel Chijioke says ‘No reason is good enough.’
Love Fiwajomi says ‘It could be so they can express themselves individually and the teacher will not be confused as to who is who if they look alike so much.
The teacher who asked for them to be separated should be asked. He/She will state his/her reasons. If the reason(s) isn’t good enough, you ask that they should be left in the same class.
I personally experienced where the smart one writes test for he and his twin brother, JSS1 students. They look alike even to their handwriting.’
Diamond Tonye-Obene says ‘They will team up against their classmates.
They will bring home play to school and distract themselves. Please, they should stay apart’.
Aches Ibiene Don Pedro says ‘They should be separate, if one person refuses to write the other might not want to, they can team up and beat up a class mate, they will play too much, thus they might lack concentration. If they are not yet grown you might not know who is actually doing well, as they might be copying from each other.’
Olaka Ebienju says ‘They need to learn individually and express themselves independently. When they are older they can be in same class.’
What do you think? Do you agree?
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