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Politicians…the expert card players.

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

The 4 cards African politicians are experts at playing:

1) Ethnicity

My brother, my brother, Doctor Ovundah your brothers have been Governors for 11 years now. “Na you biko” Your tribesmen are enjoying. I wish I am from your tribe. The irony however is that none of these politicians in power know me and there are many people not from my locality that have smiled, laughed and eaten from their dining tables, no because they come from the same tribe as them.

Ethnicity or tribalism works wonders, and is one reason many African nations will never go forward. Black can change to white when ethnicity is involved.

Even if the person responsible for the community’s impoverishment and woes is a native of the community, this shields him…”Na our brother” covers up a lot of things.

This is also the reason while people from the same locality as the leader, have an adrenaline surge…”Our brother dey power”, this adrenaline is soothing and satisfying, the feel means so much to them, even if it has no visible benefit.

If this card fails, they:

Pick Card 2) Political parties / Politics.

This is what makes youths that do not have any stake whatsoever in a political party to be willing to takeΒ  bullets for the political party they profess their support for.

This card blurs objectivity. Play this card and everything the leader does or says is perfect and everything his opponent says is piece of excrement. This is what will make someone call his state Governor a fool and a stupid and evil person one day and then call him a mighty man of valour, a beacon of hope and God’s gift to humanity the next day when they switch allegiance.

This card can make people deify mere mortals.

This card trains professional sycophants, let their leader pollute and as the atmosphere is filled with the stench and normal people cover their nose and run for cover, you would hear them scream that “A better perfume has never been bottled”.

See their leader with an oil stained white shirt and hear them sing his praises and say it is the latest “Adire” material and a new fashion statement.

Here honour is never meant for those in the other side of the phantom divide created by the card players… Play this card and you can hold your supporters to talk and fight over nothing in particular.

Any way if the knife that butters their bread enters into another container, they jump with it.

If it fails, they:

Play card 3) Religion

This is very very vital… Little wonder before elections you see them visiting places of worship, kneeling, bowing and praying with hands open wide and you see these show of spirituality on posters. Don’t take this pose for granted it can win hearts. You have to take that perfect picture where you are at sync with people’s expectations of the religion of interest.

This explains why building 300 mosques is more important than building just 1 factory.

This explains why building churches with taxpayers’ money is more important than economically empowering people that would attend this church.

This also explains why politicians still foot the bill for pilgrimages and consider more vital things frivolous. Remove this which invariably means removing “Choppings” from the mouth of many people and you would understand in details what “Allowing sleeping dogs to lie” truly means.

Here it is not important if you don’t keep the principles of “The Principal”,Β  when you are in trouble blurt out that you are persecuted because you are a member of a particular religion and see how things change.

If this fails play the ultimate card and in fact the most lethal of them all.

4) Poverty or the fear of poverty.

Na this one important and sure pass oh. When this card called poverty or fear of poverty is played, people can do anything. A poor man cannot fight you, a poor man cannot negotiate appropriately, a poor man would stand on the line to be given Akara, rice, wrapper or even bread.

A poor man can stand under the sun from morning till sunset if you pay him #1,000…a poor man will dance for you, just play the music and set the table.

A poor man will attend 50 different political rallies in a day, just assure him of transport fare, kpomo and chicken change and he would sweep the ground and hold a shade over the scorching sun and torrential rainfall.

Mess up dignity in labour and redefine labour. Make young men that should ordinarily be captains in various industries fight over crumbs on social media and live lesser lives. Make them not to develop themselves, make them attend meetings in expensive hotels and make them think their future and destiny is tied to you.

Make young men look down on handling a job and make them feel like “Honourables” and comrades, give them a false sense of arrival.

In other news

Keep them fixated on these cards and they would surely miss the meat of the matter.

Make them lose the ability to ask the relevant questions and make them lose the patience to be taught and be responded to.

Again what do I know?

The cards are working.

Pick 2, pick 3 and last card, Check up!

#HearWordΒ #HearWordSeries

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HearWord

Everyone needs to Hear Word…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

Grin Grin Grin…

I get a call, I was to be a speaker in a conference in Lagos, Nigeria.

The organizer had emailed me earlier… But there was a little issue, my hands were full…. And my calendar was not smiling.

After deliberation, I agreed with the organizer on a date, as it appeared, a day was free in my calendar πŸ—“.

However the plan was get to Lagos, give the talk and get back to the Garden city of Port Harcourt on the same day.

The next day was my clinic, so no matter what happened on God’s earth, I had to be back on the same day…

I woke up that day, and my bag was already packed, I received my goodbye hug, from my “front hugger-in-chief” … I drove to a distance and my in-law completed the rest.

I arrived Omagwa or was it Ipo on time ⌚… While waiting to get to my destination, I had to do a second check on the slides I was to present in the conference.

And then I discovered, my slides which I spent ample time to prepare were trying to do a fast one on me… My heart was in my mouth… There was nothing I did not think about…

I had a small chat with my big dad, touched some keypads, and somehow I figured out the issue.

In about an hour I was close to my destination.

Few minutes earlier, I had boarded a waiting Taxify Taxi to venue of the conference.

Well there is no Taxify in Port Harcourt, I know there are other online taxi booking services, but I don’t know how effective they are in the garden city.

In less than 15 minutes, I was in the venue for the conference, and it was obvious I was in Lagos, as the posters of Sanwo-Olu a Governorship candidate kept monitoring every step I took.

You know that feel… If there were CCTVs attached to his eyes πŸ‘€, Las Las, I would have been effectively tracked.

But it was strange the road was so free… Was it not the same Lagos, my friends always scream about… Traffic… Traffic… Traffic… No those talks were graphics…. The road was so free and it was about 10:00 am or so…

In less than 15 minutes, I was in the conference Centre in a serene environment in Maryland.

The conference was a huge success, and it was a great time connecting with the host as well as the participants, as well as a bosom friend that came to say Hi to me.

Time flew, from 2 O’clock in no distant time it was 5 O’clock. I was to leave Lagos by 7 O’clock sharp.

My host made plans to book an Okada for me… As in motorcycle… For me, after telling me how wonderful it was.

For where, wu wu not take it… Oga do you know they banned Okada in the Garden City of Port Harcourt… Do you know Okada use to wound person…Oga do you know that as they banned Okada the number of head injury patients in my hospital πŸ₯ reduced.. Okada people wey no dey Hear Word…Oga wu wu not take it.

Oga I no gree… Well it took about 15 minutes to get here in the morning, it won’t take up to an hour to get to the airport, and check in I reasoned.

Maximum, I get to the airport sharp 6:30 PM… Shebi they said Las Las I should have checked in by then.

My host smiled and booked the Taxify.

In less than no time the taxi πŸš– was at the venue of the conference and we took the apparently short journey to the airport… No be 5:00pm… No worry yourself… My host looked at me… And I am sure in that look he saw the future.

The journey back to the airport was great and boom the first diversion, the 2nd diversion, the 3rd diversion… And time was ticking…

I saw first hand the traffic jam…my friends always talked about… As we were rooted in a spot for minutes… 5:30 PM…6:00 PM.

I did not need anyone to tell me… I had to cancel the trip.

Even a bike may not have done justice.

Several Kekes seemed to be also stuck in the spot. If Keke had no hope, the car I was in was hopelessly hopeless then.

I had to enter another vehicle, my Legedis Benz…

My destination was an overhead bridge πŸŒ‰ where I would take an alternative means of transport to the airport.

I trekked pass was it Archbishop Vinning Memorial Church β›ͺ, passed what looked like a Police Training College… And in no distant time I was in front of LASUTH gate… This place was familiar, I stayed here for about a week about 5 years earlier.

I got to the overhead bridge, and you know what I bordered an Okada…Okada I had rejected over an hour ago.. And this one was without helmet oh.. I had to it was 6:15 PM or 20…No body tell me… I had to.

The constant call from my host, to know how far I had gone, sounded like a “Brother it is well, all will be well”.

I rushed to the airport, and discovered I was in the wrong terminal.

I had to enter into another Okada and by the time I ran into the airport to check in…

They had officially closed the counter.

Madam, I have to rush back I told those in the counter, Abeg na…

Na una hold up oh.. I left early for the airport oh… Plsssssssssss… I need to be in Port Harcourt ASAP…

For where, they were saying you have to rebook for another flight tomorrow and pay for late charges…

That was not what I wanted to hear… Madam, Oga I have to leave Lagos now oh…

I don’t know how this touched them…

They put a call across…

Wrote my ticket on a paper…

I ran to be checked by the security/ official in another gate… And they called again… And they were told to let me go through…

Moments later I was in a shuttle that took me to the plane…

And when I boarded, I looked like the guy who came to the exam hall, when his mates were already seated in the exam hall with their question and answer papers…

Las Las, we go land together.

Las Las, me too needed to Hear Word.

Las Las, I Heard Word.

And I will enter Okada, whenever I am told to enter Okada…

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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HearWord

Nothing just happens…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

No nation or society, grows beyond what it rewards or punishes…

Curiously, many young people will gravitate towards whatever is rewarding and rewarded…

A nation that rewards its chess players… Will naturally have many chess players…

A nation that “worships” its sportsmen, will likely have many sportsmen and aspiring sportsmen…

A nation that rewards academicians, will have many erudite scholars…

A society that rewards and worships riches no matter the source… Will have people doing all kinds of things to be rich…The end which is riches, will be justified, no matter the means…

A society that rewards cultism, will have many cultists, in fact it will become a culture and it will be abnormal not to be one…

A society that rewards irresponsibility, will have a culture of irresponsibility…

A society that celebrates mediocrity, will have a recurrent banquet of mediocrity, spiced with mediocres…

You cannot drink garri and vomit fried rice and chicken…

Again what do I know?

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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HearWord

The dead don’t smell flowers, the living do.

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

Today I got thinking again…

I went online… And Prof. Pius Adesanmi was trending again…

Apart from the tribute…

Many of his masterpiece were shared online…

Though I follow him online, but today for the first time, I listened to his masterpiece, The parable of the shower head 🚿…

Where he told a story about his experience in a classy Nigerian hotel 🏩 where all the holes in the 🚿 shower head in his room were not open, even if the shower was working.

He would call the reception to complain about the bad shower and they would send a technician on time to come fix the shower in his room.

However, he was shocked the well kitted technician was more at peace with the fact, that the shower was working, and not if all the holes of the shower head 🚿 were open.

He used the shower head, as a metaphor, to talk about, our love for our culture of mediocrity…

His photos are everywhere…

I also shared his photo πŸ“Έ, but when he was alive, I don’t think I ever did…

His works and all the books he wrote are also hitting our faces…

The fact he was a national treasure has been resounded countless number of times; and even the President acknowledged him in death…

If any of his work is currently been promoted or released, it will sell like “bole” and fish…

*****

Go to any burial ceremony and villains become saints…

Go to any burial ceremony and see eulogies…

Wait for people to pass on.. And you hear the beautiful things they meant to others…

Wait for people to pass on, and their unpainted and dilapidated houses 🏘 bear a new look…

People who never visited, come visiting…

*****

Death reveals a lot of things…

How come πŸ€”, when people are alive, they are overlooked, but when they die… They are everywhere?

How come people, have a larger than life figure when they pass on?

How come many people are celebrated in death more than life? πŸ€”

*****

Would it be better to eulogize, support, value, love, encourage people when they are alive…

Would it be better to fan their dream and tell them a kind word…

Would it be better to give them a helping hand and not wait for them to die, before we realize they matter.

Give people flowers πŸ’ to smell when they are alive and not wait until they pass on… to fill their doorsteps with bouquets of flowers.

The dead don’t smell flowers πŸ’, the living do.

Make a difference in someone’s life today… Don’t wait until they are gone.

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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