By Chituru Weje.
We once had a training at my former place of work and one of the facilitators, Mr Lagbaja, flew in from a distant for it. We hit it off well and had an okay rapport. On one of the days that the training held, his ride back to his hotel was going to be late and everyone was leaving the venue, so he asked if I could drop him off, to which I obliged. It was during a period of fuel scarcity and while we were driving I mentioned that I needed to buy some fuel. Whilst on the drive to the hotel, he asked where in Port Harcourt I stayed, and asked when he’d come and visit me. Huh? As wetyn na? Who I wan tell my mama sey you be? Almost middle-aged man, and not even my friend. I managed to laugh it away and changed the topic.
The next day, during a break from the training, he asked for my account number in the presence of my supervisor who, by the way, was female. I refused but he said he needed to have some money sent to my account, and then I’d withdraw it on his behalf. Huh? Oga, you don’t have an ATM card? But I kept shut. If that was his choice, no wahala. So I gave him the number. After he left there, madam supervisor opined that perhaps some people don’t like to travel with an ATM card, so that they don’t overspend. Okay oh.
I got home that evening, and received a credit alert for #10,000. I called him to tell him, so we could discuss how I’d give him his money, but he just laughed and said I should use the money for fuel. Okay… ‘Ah, no Sir, you didn’t have to’, I replied, but he insisted. I didn’t have his own account number to send it back. He then said I should send greetings to my parents on his behalf. Oga… I said ‘no problems’.
Next day he sent me airtime and called just to chat, after we’d been at the same program all day. He mentioned that he wanted to come greet my parents. I rolled my eyes where I was. Wetyn you dey find? He asked to join me to church the next Sunday and I gave him directions.
The following day, I received a long message telling how he could not stop loving me. This was followed by another that read, ‘Chituru, while I continue claiming you by faith, I want you to understand that I truly and earnestly need you as a wife. Please all I need from you is a YES’. Claiming a wife by faith? What in the world?!!!
I decided to search for him on Facebook. Brethren, what did I see? I’m sure you suspected it already. Oga was married with children. I laughed and laughed till I had tears in my eyes and then I laughed some more. Chwoi!
By the following day, there were more text messages and calls. Oga said that I was his wife o. He came to church on Sunday, and I hoped that the sermon would format his thought patterns, but no such luck. I met him at the close of the service and it was status quo. Apparently this type goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. He said he wanted to build a home with me.
I respectfully declined his offer of marriage and he traveled back to his location. I was at a loss though as to whether to send him the evidences I’d found. I decided to let him wallow in unawareness. So that the next lady he made moves on would find something when she searched. He however continued to call, but when the calls became persistent, I had to stop taking them. When I told my supervisor his story, she couldn’t believe it! Some people say that in this life, you should fear women. I say, fear everybody! Man, woman, child! Lol.
PS. A dear friend who had graduated from medical school and hadn’t commenced internship was having a rough time and requested some help and I happily passed the money on to someone who actually needed it.
Chituru is a physician who, loves to laugh, love, and live life fully.
She also likes to tell stories of the funny commas in her life.