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Duplicity

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By Chituru Weje.

We once had a training at my former place of work and one of the facilitators, Mr Lagbaja, flew in from a distant for it. We hit it off well and had an okay rapport. On one of the days that the training held, his ride back to his hotel was going to be late and everyone was leaving the venue, so he asked if I could drop him off, to which I obliged. It was during a period of fuel scarcity and while we were driving I mentioned that I needed to buy some fuel. Whilst on the drive to the hotel, he asked where in Port Harcourt I stayed, and asked when he’d come and visit me. Huh? As wetyn na? Who I wan tell my mama sey you be? Almost middle-aged man, and not even my friend. I managed to laugh it away and changed the topic.

The next day, during a break from the training, he asked for my account number in the presence of my supervisor who, by the way, was female. I refused but he said he needed to have some money sent to my account, and then I’d withdraw it on his behalf. Huh? Oga, you don’t have an ATM card? But I kept shut. If that was his choice, no wahala. So I gave him the number. After he left there, madam supervisor opined that perhaps some people don’t like to travel with an ATM card, so that they don’t overspend. Okay oh.

I got home that evening, and received a credit alert for #10,000. I called him to tell him, so we could discuss how I’d give him his money, but he just laughed and said I should use the money for fuel. Okay… ‘Ah, no Sir, you didn’t have to’, I replied, but he insisted. I didn’t have his own account number to send it back. He then said I should send greetings to my parents on his behalf. Oga… I said ‘no problems’.

Next day he sent me airtime and called just to chat, after we’d been at the same program all day. He mentioned that he wanted to come greet my parents. I rolled my eyes where I was. Wetyn you dey find? He asked to join me to church the next Sunday and I gave him directions.

The following day, I received a long message telling how he could not stop loving me. This was followed by another that read, ‘Chituru, while I continue claiming you by faith, I want you to understand that I truly and earnestly need you as a wife. Please all I need from you is a YES’. Claiming a wife by faith? What in the world?!!!

I decided to search for him on Facebook. Brethren, what did I see? I’m sure you suspected it already. Oga was married with children. I laughed and laughed till I had tears in my eyes and then I laughed some more. Chwoi!

By the following day, there were more text messages and calls. Oga said that I was his wife o. He came to church on Sunday, and I hoped that the sermon would format his thought patterns, but no such luck. I met him at the close of the service and it was status quo. Apparently this type goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. He said he wanted to build a home with me.

I respectfully declined his offer of marriage and he traveled back to his location. I was at a loss though as to whether to send him the evidences I’d found. I decided to let him wallow in unawareness. So that the next lady he made moves on would find something when she searched. He however continued to call, but when the calls became persistent, I had to stop taking them. When I told my supervisor his story, she couldn’t believe it! Some people say that in this life, you should fear women. I say, fear everybody! Man, woman, child! Lol.

PS. A dear friend who had graduated from medical school and hadn’t commenced internship was having a rough time and requested some help and I happily passed the money on to someone who actually needed it.

 

Chituru is a physician who, loves to laugh, love, and live life fully.

She also likes to tell stories of the funny commas in her life.

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Dionakovie Ikenna Obuh

    December 28, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Always a pleasure reading from you Chituru!

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      December 29, 2017 at 4:33 am

      Thanks for your feedback.

  2. Avatar

    Tamie

    December 30, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    Lol
    Faith indeed!

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      December 30, 2017 at 3:28 pm

      Thank you for your feedback

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Features

Going back to the basics.

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By Nimi Stephanie Ekere.

Last year, we were woken up to the news of a student who tried to poison his colleague because she was doing better than him, academically. This was to say the

least, frightening. That for me, set my mind wondering what the home environment of the said student was. If a child in Secondary school could think of something so terrible, it clearly showed that his family, which is the smallest unit of the society was in a wrong state. The reason is that the family forms most of a person’s values, at least at that tender age.

 

Recently, the suicide rate in the country has become so alarmingly high and particularly scary amongst young people. Young people take their lives for the flimsiest reasons. It’s either you hear that they took their lives because they were heartbroken in their relationship, they failed an exam or someone spoke to them badly.

 

In the past, we were known for our resilience and ability to adapt to even the most unfriendly situations, so what suddenly changed?

 

I would like us to look into the family setting and review our parenting styles and strategies. A lot has changed. Yes, I think a lot has changed so much; and this does not mean that our parents were perfect in the past. They made their mistakes but to a very large extent, they did a lot of things right.

 

Many modern day parents are so concerned about pleasing their children that a lot of areas are left unattended to. There seems to be no standards and values which are the bedrock of effective parenting.

 

The twenty first century parent is caught up in the web of an extremely busy schedule in the pursuit of money and when they make it, throw it at the child and fail to invest quality time with their children and lose the opportunity to discover their children and what they are growing up to become.

 

For many of these children, integrity means little or nothing, and the child having nothing to emulate, seeks help from his peers and the television.

 

Nannies have taken over the place of mothers in the lives of these children. And because parents are not always visible, and even if they are visible, they are unavailable, there lies a wide communication breakdown. And if a child cannot talk

or discuss everything with his parents, there usually are deadly alternatives for them.

 

Parents try to compensate for these deficiencies with wonderful vacations, gifts, expensive clothes and shoes and other luxuries. While these are wonderful, they do not take the place of deliberate, intentional and effective parenting.

 

Also, a lot of children are suffering from low self-esteem because of the unrealistic expectations and pressures from their parents. ‘Have you seen Linda’s results?’

Why can’t you come first place like Jonathan?’ This is all the child hears and gradually, his self-esteem completely gets eroded and he starts seeking for validation from external sources. He begins to have envy, hatred and unhealthy competitions as part of his everyday life.

 

This begins to manifest in his behaviour towards others. An example is the case of the seventeen year old boy that was left to drown by his friends because they were jealous of him. There are multiples of examples to buttress the fact that we must go back to the basics.

Parenting must be done right if we want to see this generation of children do better than us. There is a vacuum that must be filled. We must listen to these young ones. We must try to create time for them. Our values must not be thrown out, they must be instilled in our children. We can love our children without necessarily giving them everything they want. There should be discipline

in parenting. Sometimes, giving them all they want is not to their advantage. We must learn to know when to draw the line.

 

Their strengths should be celebrated while their weaknesses worked on. Unhealthy competitions are really unhealthy for them. We must know that every child is unique and is created differently with a special gift to change her world.

 

Prayer is an inevitable tool in effective parenting. Every word of prayer said on our children’s behalf is a seed that will germinate and yield fruits, good fruits. This said, prayers must go hand in hand with hard work as even the Bible admonishes us to intentionally, train up our children in a way that they should go and when they are old, they would not depart from it.

 

Thank you for reading this, I hope to get your feedback.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr Nimi Stephanie Ekere is a wife, mother and Family Physician. She enjoys writing, reading and attending to her patients.  She is a life coach and teacher, who is passionate about children and young people walking in the right course and path to achieve their full potential.

Her Foundation, Ekom Charity Foundation mentors young people and also cares for the less privileged.

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Features

Sex: The Naked Truth, through my eyes…

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By Excel Agoziem.

So I got to know Dr. Ovundah Nyeche on Facebook. I always found myself reading his beautiful posts. So, after he published Sex, the Naked Truth, I got an autographed copy directly from him and had an amazing read.

This book carries so much of Dr’s God-given wisdom, being a balanced combination of God’s standard for sexual relations, embedded in stories and actual life experiences.

While I initially thought it had teenagers as target audience, when I began reading, I found that I needed it as much, (everyone does) and even parents as well, for the sake of their children.

Sex, the Naked Truth, first teaches that it is God who made sex and all kinds of pleasures, so just as a manufacturer has his user manuals of everything invented by him, so God has His own guidelines on what He made. Yea, of course He made sex.

This book will open your eyes to various truths and expose certain repercussions of not having it God’s way- those consequences you know aren’t all there are, get this book and you will be amazed at what humans expose themselves to, for not having it God’s way.

You will also find different people’s stories shared in it, for your instruction.

Above all, you will learn that you are a priced possession and your body isn’t yours. You will learn how to glorify God with your body.

You will learn that not everyone is being defied, (a lot of people think and say that everyone is), and that just as God had 7,000 uncorrupted prophets in the time Elijah, (Rom 11:4, 1 Kings 19:18) He still has chaste sons and daughters in this age.
You will learn self control.
and the fear of God.

PS: To get this book for yourself, children and friends, just everyone, you can click on the links below.

Or reach the author via 📧 sexthenakedtruth@gmail.com

Udo🙌🙌🙌

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Features

Money Matters Part II

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By Olamide Falase.

The Million Dollar Loaf of Bread…

Remember when I told you earlier https://ovundahnyeche.com/2019/01/08/money-matters-part-i/ that there are some boring terms about money that you need to remember?

Let me ask you this question.

Which is more important, how much money you have, or what you can purchase with what you have?

To a Zimbabwean, that question is a “no-brainer”, he’ll probably say, “Of course it is what you can purchase (You see, there was a time a loaf of bread cost Z$35 Million – in case, you were wondering what I wrote, it’s 35 million Zimbabwean Dollars. You don’t believe me? Check this out https://www.jasonhartman.com/price-of-a-loaf-of-bread-jump…/ )

One very vital way of looking at money is to always think of it in terms of “its purchasing power”.

If someone offered you, US$10,000 or N3 Million which would you accept?

Remember that 3 million is a lot more than 10 thousand (in fact, 30 times more) however, a simple exchange rate comparison will have you opting for the US$10,000 precisely because the US$ is a better STORAGE OF VALUE than the Naira.

Of course choosing between the US$ and the Naira is, to most, a simple decision, but imagine if you had to choose between getting N3 Million right now, or N3.5 Million in 2 years’ time (Both amounts are guaranteed).

Now the choosing becomes more interesting, although I suspect that most Nigerians will settle for the N3 Million today, but I am also willing to wager that it is not for reasons that has to do with understanding how money works.

Make I digress small!!

Always remember that no matter how much or little you earn, you are someone’s “gbogbo bigs boy” or “gbogbo bigs gehs”

What this means is, there is ALWAYS something you can set aside from your current earnings and still maintain a standard of living.

It helps to imagine that there is someone, somewhere, right this minute, who may not even live too far away from you, who can subsist on what is left from your earnings after you have set some of it aside as savings.

Trust me, it is not hard to imagine it, and even much more easier to experience.

You just have to make up your mind to do it.

The toughest part is overcoming the false notion that you are as rich as what you wear, drive, eat or live in.

Truth is, you are as rich as what you cannot do without. The fewer the things you cannot do without, the wealthier you are likely going to become.

Saving money wouldn’t make you wealthy, but you cannot become wealthy without developing an attitude of savings..

I had to jump a whole lot of steps in my “money series” to get here, and so, there will likely be many people who wouldn’t understand what on God’s planet I am talking about; for that I apologize profusely.

I just thought I needed to say this to someone who would need the encouragement to develop an attitude of needing less than they earn.

 

Olamide Falase has nearly 18 years industry experience, which spans the Banking, Food Services, Civil Construction and the downstream sector of the Nigerian Oil and Gas industry, most of which has been in management and leadership positions. He presents industry related issues in a relatable format, easy for a broad range of people, not only to understand but to also relate to.

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