By Uchenna Ezenwa Akujobi
Nurse: “Doctor you, guess what?”
Then we both chorused – She’s awake!!!
If you see race.
I jumped off my bed and ran to the door.
Oh no! I came back to the sitting room and on my knees for like five minutes all I could say was “Thank you Jesus. Thank you so much Lord… Thank you.”
I dashed out again.
It was 6 pm, two hrs. to my shift. I ran like a mad man to the casualty unit and there she was sitting up on her bed, leaning on Mama who was sitting on the bed with her.
I looked at them from the corridor where I stood, smiled and walked away to the nursing station, picked up her case note and everything looked good, her vital signs were stable. She was good.
The next day she and I had our usual long chat but this time it was different.
She told me about the man who got her pregnant.
They call him ‘Doctor’. He runs a drug store (chemist) in their neighbourhood. From her description, he was way older than her, but they had been dating for months.
Virginia: “He told me to remove it but I told him I couldn’t. I told him I’d talk to you about it but he said I shouldn’t… Sir, you know I wasn’t feeling well that time na so he said I might have malaria and he gave me some antimalarial medications that can be taken in pregnancy.
“He said I Should take four tablets in the night and four the next morning. After I took the first four, the bleeding started and I started having severe abdominal pains. I called him to tell him I was coming to the hospital but he said I should not worry that it was the malaria…I continued bleeding and I went to him…then… then.” (Sobbing)
Me: “Then what Virginia?”
Virginia: “Then he said I should not disturb him again. That he doesn’t want to see me in his shop again, that he is sure he is not even responsible for the pregnancy… Doc, I felt like killing myself. I just wanted to die, he is the only one I.” (She was crying again).
Me: “Don’t worry my dear. Life is like that sometimes. You have the rest of the pills he gave you shebi?”
She: “Yes sir.”
Me: “I’d love to see them.”
She: “I’d ask my younger brother to bring it from my bag later today.”
Me: “No wahala… Get some rest. We’d talk more before you leave OK?”
She: “OK Doctor.”
Some hours later…
I was told she wanted to see me.
She was now walking and much stronger… I asked them to ask her to come to the Consulting room. I was busy with other things. When I eventually saw her, she handed the tablets over to me.
Virginia: “Doc here are the remaining four tablets of the antimalarial drug he gave me.”
Me: “OK, good.”
I looked at d medications and just as I expected “misoprostol”- an abortifacient
I no fit vex.
Me: “Have you told your mom about all this?”
She: “No, no, no Sir, please don’t tell her, she’d kill me.”
Me: “I never said I’d tell her. But you will. You see. You’re 17. You’re old enough to get pregnant, do an abortion, and come back from a coma… You’re definitely old enough to tell your mom about your boyfriend and to take responsibility for your actions.
Virginia: “Where do I start from?”
Me: The beginning is always the perfect place to start… I would be here if you need me…But trust me. Mama loves you so much, she wouldn’t kill you OK? You should’ve seen how worried she was when you were asleep.”
Virginia was quiet, very quiet and reflective.
Virginia: “When do I tell her?”
Me: “We could do it right away.”
I picked up d phone and called the front desk; asked them to get me Virginia’s mom.
In no time, mama was with us in d office.
Mama: “Doc what’s the problem?”
I was silent.
Mama: “Doc talk to me nau. Is my daughter okay? What happened?”
Me: “Mama she is OK.”(Virginia interrupted)
Virginia: “Mama, I’m fine. I’m the one who asked him to call you… I want to tell you something.”
The atmosphere was so tense I wished I didn’t have to sit through this conversation. But Virginia needed a mediator… so here I was.
Uchenna Ezenwa Akujobi studied Medicine and Surgery in the University of Port Harcourt. He is a stock trader, a practicing doctor; and writing happens to be one of many things he is very fond of. He is passionate about sharing authentic and useful health information with the public in forms that are very interesting, easy to read and relate to. When not relating with humans he spends time grooming and raising his dogs.
Going back to the basics.
By Nimi Stephanie Ekere.
Last year, we were woken up to the news of a student who tried to poison his colleague because she was doing better than him, academically. This was to say the
least, frightening. That for me, set my mind wondering what the home environment of the said student was. If a child in Secondary school could think of something so terrible, it clearly showed that his family, which is the smallest unit of the society was in a wrong state. The reason is that the family forms most of a person’s values, at least at that tender age.
Recently, the suicide rate in the country has become so alarmingly high and particularly scary amongst young people. Young people take their lives for the flimsiest reasons. It’s either you hear that they took their lives because they were heartbroken in their relationship, they failed an exam or someone spoke to them badly.
In the past, we were known for our resilience and ability to adapt to even the most unfriendly situations, so what suddenly changed?
I would like us to look into the family setting and review our parenting styles and strategies. A lot has changed. Yes, I think a lot has changed so much; and this does not mean that our parents were perfect in the past. They made their mistakes but to a very large extent, they did a lot of things right.
Many modern day parents are so concerned about pleasing their children that a lot of areas are left unattended to. There seems to be no standards and values which are the bedrock of effective parenting.
The twenty first century parent is caught up in the web of an extremely busy schedule in the pursuit of money and when they make it, throw it at the child and fail to invest quality time with their children and lose the opportunity to discover their children and what they are growing up to become.
For many of these children, integrity means little or nothing, and the child having nothing to emulate, seeks help from his peers and the television.
Nannies have taken over the place of mothers in the lives of these children. And because parents are not always visible, and even if they are visible, they are unavailable, there lies a wide communication breakdown. And if a child cannot talk
or discuss everything with his parents, there usually are deadly alternatives for them.
Parents try to compensate for these deficiencies with wonderful vacations, gifts, expensive clothes and shoes and other luxuries. While these are wonderful, they do not take the place of deliberate, intentional and effective parenting.
Also, a lot of children are suffering from low self-esteem because of the unrealistic expectations and pressures from their parents. ‘Have you seen Linda’s results?’
Why can’t you come first place like Jonathan?’ This is all the child hears and gradually, his self-esteem completely gets eroded and he starts seeking for validation from external sources. He begins to have envy, hatred and unhealthy competitions as part of his everyday life.
This begins to manifest in his behaviour towards others. An example is the case of the seventeen year old boy that was left to drown by his friends because they were jealous of him. There are multiples of examples to buttress the fact that we must go back to the basics.
Parenting must be done right if we want to see this generation of children do better than us. There is a vacuum that must be filled. We must listen to these young ones. We must try to create time for them. Our values must not be thrown out, they must be instilled in our children. We can love our children without necessarily giving them everything they want. There should be discipline
in parenting. Sometimes, giving them all they want is not to their advantage. We must learn to know when to draw the line.
Their strengths should be celebrated while their weaknesses worked on. Unhealthy competitions are really unhealthy for them. We must know that every child is unique and is created differently with a special gift to change her world.
Prayer is an inevitable tool in effective parenting. Every word of prayer said on our children’s behalf is a seed that will germinate and yield fruits, good fruits. This said, prayers must go hand in hand with hard work as even the Bible admonishes us to intentionally, train up our children in a way that they should go and when they are old, they would not depart from it.
Thank you for reading this, I hope to get your feedback.
Dr Nimi Stephanie Ekere is a wife, mother and Family Physician. She enjoys writing, reading and attending to her patients. She is a life coach and teacher, who is passionate about children and young people walking in the right course and path to achieve their full potential.
Her Foundation, Ekom Charity Foundation mentors young people and also cares for the less privileged.
Sex: The Naked Truth, through my eyes…
By Excel Agoziem.
So I got to know Dr. Ovundah Nyeche on Facebook. I always found myself reading his beautiful posts. So, after he published Sex, the Naked Truth, I got an autographed copy directly from him and had an amazing read.
This book carries so much of Dr’s God-given wisdom, being a balanced combination of God’s standard for sexual relations, embedded in stories and actual life experiences.
While I initially thought it had teenagers as target audience, when I began reading, I found that I needed it as much, (everyone does) and even parents as well, for the sake of their children.
Sex, the Naked Truth, first teaches that it is God who made sex and all kinds of pleasures, so just as a manufacturer has his user manuals of everything invented by him, so God has His own guidelines on what He made. Yea, of course He made sex.
This book will open your eyes to various truths and expose certain repercussions of not having it God’s way- those consequences you know aren’t all there are, get this book and you will be amazed at what humans expose themselves to, for not having it God’s way.
You will also find different people’s stories shared in it, for your instruction.
Above all, you will learn that you are a priced possession and your body isn’t yours. You will learn how to glorify God with your body.
You will learn that not everyone is being defied, (a lot of people think and say that everyone is), and that just as God had 7,000 uncorrupted prophets in the time Elijah, (Rom 11:4, 1 Kings 19:18) He still has chaste sons and daughters in this age.
You will learn self control.
and the fear of God.
PS: To get this book for yourself, children and friends, just everyone, you can click on the links below.
Or reach the author via 📧 firstname.lastname@example.org
Money Matters Part II
By Olamide Falase.
The Million Dollar Loaf of Bread…
Remember when I told you earlier https://ovundahnyeche.com/2019/01/08/money-matters-part-i/ that there are some boring terms about money that you need to remember?
Let me ask you this question.
Which is more important, how much money you have, or what you can purchase with what you have?
To a Zimbabwean, that question is a “no-brainer”, he’ll probably say, “Of course it is what you can purchase (You see, there was a time a loaf of bread cost Z$35 Million – in case, you were wondering what I wrote, it’s 35 million Zimbabwean Dollars. You don’t believe me? Check this out https://www.jasonhartman.com/price-of-a-loaf-of-bread-jump…/ )
One very vital way of looking at money is to always think of it in terms of “its purchasing power”.
If someone offered you, US$10,000 or N3 Million which would you accept?
Remember that 3 million is a lot more than 10 thousand (in fact, 30 times more) however, a simple exchange rate comparison will have you opting for the US$10,000 precisely because the US$ is a better STORAGE OF VALUE than the Naira.
Of course choosing between the US$ and the Naira is, to most, a simple decision, but imagine if you had to choose between getting N3 Million right now, or N3.5 Million in 2 years’ time (Both amounts are guaranteed).
Now the choosing becomes more interesting, although I suspect that most Nigerians will settle for the N3 Million today, but I am also willing to wager that it is not for reasons that has to do with understanding how money works.
Make I digress small!!
Always remember that no matter how much or little you earn, you are someone’s “gbogbo bigs boy” or “gbogbo bigs gehs”
What this means is, there is ALWAYS something you can set aside from your current earnings and still maintain a standard of living.
It helps to imagine that there is someone, somewhere, right this minute, who may not even live too far away from you, who can subsist on what is left from your earnings after you have set some of it aside as savings.
Trust me, it is not hard to imagine it, and even much more easier to experience.
You just have to make up your mind to do it.
The toughest part is overcoming the false notion that you are as rich as what you wear, drive, eat or live in.
Truth is, you are as rich as what you cannot do without. The fewer the things you cannot do without, the wealthier you are likely going to become.
Saving money wouldn’t make you wealthy, but you cannot become wealthy without developing an attitude of savings..
I had to jump a whole lot of steps in my “money series” to get here, and so, there will likely be many people who wouldn’t understand what on God’s planet I am talking about; for that I apologize profusely.
I just thought I needed to say this to someone who would need the encouragement to develop an attitude of needing less than they earn.
Olamide Falase has nearly 18 years industry experience, which spans the Banking, Food Services, Civil Construction and the downstream sector of the Nigerian Oil and Gas industry, most of which has been in management and leadership positions. He presents industry related issues in a relatable format, easy for a broad range of people, not only to understand but to also relate to.
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