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TRIALS OF A KETO SISTER…

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” I do keto, I do keto”, she said. She was also a keto police of sorts.

And so she left home that morning, talking about keto and sharing keto recipes on social media.

She landed at the seminar which was very stressful, tea break was not keto, so she ignored it.

By the time lunch was served later in the evening, her stomach was already grumbling and making sounds reminiscent of the sounds in a music producer’s studio.

To make the matters worse, she was sitting very close to the caterer’s table. The aroma from the well prepared egusi soup , gave her senses an upper cut.

All she remembers is that by her side was a demolished plate or was it two wraps of garri and the bowl that housed what was before an egusi soup palace was now empty.

” Just for today” she told herself.

But no the demons against keto had another plan, she was invited for a banquet that evening and the sight of the buffet was mouth watering. The room was filled with the aroma of the delicacies prepared for the guests.

It is not, sorry it is my portion she said. If Daniel did it, I will do same. If Daniel could overlook Nebuchadnezzar’s lavish banquet, so would she.

Okay Daniel ate pulses instead, but she decided to take salad, but as she got to the buffet table, the sight of the pepper soup with pieces of meat at attention stunned her and pepper soup she took.

She downed it, wow and it tasted very well. She saw her colleagues eating rice and so she went back to the table and had only salad, the salad she initially wanted, but the cream from the salad reminded her of when she was not doing keto.

She jumped again and you know salad has to go with rice and rice she collected and slayed. On her table were several bottles of soft drink and wine, oh yes she drank 2 bottles of soft drink and filled her wine glass and filled it again and again.

Her stomach smiled as it had not been used to such vanities in a long while, it did not know when this would happen again and so it kept stretching and she kept filling.

And she stood to leave at the end of the event, the veil on her eyes were removed and she found out that she just cheated. She just cheated the keto gods.

To make up when she reached home, she ate a portion of avocado and cabbage.

“I will not commit this sin again” she said, but only time will tell.

In another news

The sister’s name is not Miriam, but her brother is named Moses.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    IfyGod

    July 31, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    Pls how many animals were killed in the making of this epistle???
    It takes so much discipline to really achieve that Keto thing abeg.

  2. Avatar

    Lois

    August 2, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Ovd! How many times I call you?
    Please leave us alone o!
    ??

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Healthy Living

World Suicide Prevention Day 2019.

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Every 10th of September the World Health Organization in collaboration with the International Association of Suicide Prevention celebrates the World Suicide Prevention Day.

This year just like last year the theme is ‘Working Together to Prevent Suicide’.

Every year about 800,000 lose their lives by suicide and this amounts to a death by suicide every 40 seconds.

25 more people attempt suicides and many more have suicidal ideations.

Of those aged 15 – 29 years, suicide accounts for the second leading cause death, topped only by Road traffic accidents.

Suicide is a public health concern and any one can be affected, and it is very preventable.

Unfortunately suicide does not end the pain but passes it to family members, friends, colleagues and others.

Last Saturday, RivEthics an initiative of the first lady of Rivers State Justice Mrs Suzzette Eberechi Nyesom-Wike, did a suicide awareness/ prevention campaign on radio and yours truly was the guest.

You can listen or download the broadcast which is in English Language and Pidgin English via the link below.

http://www.rivethics.com/index.php/2019/09/07/episode-167-ovundah-nyeche-world-suicide-prevention-day/

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Healthy Living

Why do at last, what you should do at first?

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By Ovundah Nyeche

If you know you will eventually go to the hospital, please do go there first.

What shall it profit you to go everywhere and anywhere and then eventually come to a real hospital when options are few and limited.

You have diabetes and you are convinced by friends and others to stop taking your medications and you immediately thrash your medications and you start munching bitter leaves, bitter kola and alcoholic bitters like because according to them, it will cure you of diabetes.

Subsequently, you miss all your appointments as you think diabetes is all about sugar control.

Well yeah, you noticed your sugar control is better, but you are feeling more unwell and you seem not to realize, your kidneys are going on strike.

You are diabetic, you have a boil and you allow ‘the enemy’ to use you to burst it and you keep dressing the wound at home even when it is obvious the wound is going left and becoming worse. To explain it away, you are told you stepped on ‘poison’ (diabolic) and you have to also use diabolic means to treat it.

You know your issues, diabetes, but you are deceived, because someone that speaks Queen’s English and has a visa puts your hand in a phoney machine and gives you highfalutin diagnosis and tells you to discard your regular medications.
Hmm

I know the end of the story and it is usually not in your favour.

Please take your medications, instructions and appointments seriously and don’t take medical decisions based on hearsay or assumption.

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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Healthy Living

Living Test Tubes…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

And so one day I was seated with a patient, who came for a particular complaint…

And boom the  discussion turned to fibroids…

And boom I hear…

I am taking a herbal remedy for my fibroids…

And here was I sweating…

Madam, do you know what the herbal remedy you are taking contains? Nooooooooooo!

Madam, can you explain to me what fibroids are? The look changed to “if I had the chance, I will beat”… You can you explain to me what strength of material is? or explain to me the theory of relativity?…

Okay Madam, please do not be annoyed, “na play I dey play”…

Okay, jokes apart,  how does this herbal remedy work? Erm how am I supposed to know?

Madam, you know you are on other drugs, does this herbal remedy interact with other drugs you are taking?  And there was this “come young man you better behave yourself”… Well you know that look…

Erm Madam lest I forget, what are the side effects of this herbal remedy? “Haba” Doctor… These drugs are organic and have no side effect whatsoever…

Madam is beans you eat not organic? Shebi it has side effects… Which can range from firing, rumbling, peppering to praaaaaaaaa…

You say your medicine does not have any side effects at all? Yes oh…

Ironically, if a real doctor tells this patient anything, the patient will likely Google it… But when a wannabe is playing with the patient’s  life…They will likely look the other way…

Don’t kill yourself for nothing…

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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