By Uchenna Ezenwa Akujobi
OK, there’s this sixteen year old girl. What’s that her name sef…uuhhhhmm? Well obviously I can’t tell you guys her name but for the sake of this post, let’s call her… emmmmm? Amaka, no, no, no Amaka is my sister’s name. Let’s call her Eva… mbanu! Eva is my pooch’s name. I’d call her Virginia. I have my reasons.
Now Virginia and I met last year, she came to see a doctor. She had malaria and we talked for so long. I had no other patients to see and the young lady was amazing. I liked her, partly because she was same age as my nephew, but besides age, they shared many other similarities. She was inquisitive, queried everything and wanted to know why this and why that. She had hunger for information and it was just captivating.
It was obvious she was a bright young lady. She spoke Queen’s English and she knew just about enough to not be a total waste of my time. Our long conversation was interrupted by a nurse who came in because she was wondering why it was taking me so long to finish with this patient. Before she left, Virginia asked for my number. Sixteen year old, totally harmless, against my better judgment, I gave her… my nurse was shocked and she said “hian! doc you, you dan get girlfriend oo”. We laughed and that was it.
Each time Virginia came around we’d have our usual long chat. I’d ask about school and she’d want to know all I know about Medicine. She’d call me, quite frequently, mostly to talk about health related issues. The calls got a little more frequent and soon, I knew from experience, that something was wrong. She’d call by 11:00 pm to ask how my day was and if I’ve had something to eat. Soon she started complaining I never return her calls.
Four weeks ago, she called me saying she was ill and wanted to know if I was on duty. I asked her to come right away. She came with her mum. She was stooling, vomiting, had a fever and malaise. After talking plenty, I filled out a lab form requesting for malaria parasites screen, a full blood count and some others… and yeah a pregnancy test. But before I called the lab, I asked my young friend:
Me: My dear, when was your last menstrual period?
Virginia: I saw it last month sir, this month it has not come.
Me: Is it possible you’re pregnant?
Virginia: No oo… I’m not, I’m a virgin.
Shey una dey see problem, who asked about virginity here now? Well, I went with my instincts and requested for the PT notwithstanding. I sent her home with some medications. She was to come the next day to see the lab results. Next day, she showed up early, I wasn’t on duty but she called. Curious to know how well she was responding to treatment, I came out to see her myself.
“How are you now my dear” I asked
Virginia: I’m much better now we thank God.
I opened her case note, the first thing that hit me was the pregnancy test result. I couldn’t control the anger within; when anger and disappointment mixes up, you feel something strange. My mother’s guardian Angel reminded me of the other lady from before, the one that almost put me in trouble so I called for a nurse to sit with Virginia and I… and then… ghen!! ghen!!!
Me: Virginia you’re pregnant! How could you be pregnant! You’re just 17!
Virginia fell off her chair to her knees and in fact eh words cannot describe the pain and outburst of emotions. She cried uncontrollably, she was rolling on the floor. Nurse went to hold her and console her. Me I was too angry with her to say anything, a ‘smart girl’, how could she? She managed to utter a few words amidst her tears. “Doc what do I do? Can you help me plssssssssss, Doc. plssssssssss…” she was crying, “My mother will kill me, hey! I’m finished…Doc. please you’ve to do something!!!”
I looked her dead in the eyes. I had many things to say like ” I can’t help you my dear, you brought this on yourself, what are you doing having sex at this age…” but pity, chia! Pity overshadowed my anger and I said “sweetheart don’t worry, I’d help you. Stop crying. Wipe your tears, let’s talk like we always do”
She sat up. Wiped her tears… Looking hopeful.
Me: First of, I’m really confused about how it is that a virgin is pregnant. I’ve only seen this in the Bible… abi you drink your own belle for water? You know you’re my friend, just tell me d truth.
“Sir I’ve a boyfriend” she said sobbing.
Me: Good! And you’re sleeping with him abi? Without protection?
Me: Do you’ve any idea how much risk you’re taking, I’ve told you so much about HIV, hepatitis and other STIs abi? Well, I’m sorry but we’d have to run a full serology so I can know how much help you really need before I start offering to be of any assistance. I quickly sent a fresh sample to d lab & lucky us, her serology was clear.
Me: So Virginia, you’re pregnant, count yourself lucky instead of crying. You could have contracted HIV or one of her business associates, you know what they say, children are gifts from God. God has just blessed you. You should be grateful.
Me: Now this is how I can help u. Hold your ear and listen. Funny but she held her right ear up. I almost laughed but then I remembered I was not retarded. This was serious.
“Abortion is illegal in this country, even if it wasn’t, I would never be a party to it mostly ‘cos it goes against my core beliefs. I can, however, help you by talking to your parents so they don’t kill you, getting you some good antenatal care and making sure you give birth safely when the time is right and being a godfather to your bundle of joy if you’d have me… but first you’d have to talk to your boyfriend and prepare him for fatherhood, that one, it’s only you that can do it.”
Virginia started crying again ooo …This time even louder than before… “I’M DEAD OOO, I’M DEAD OOO. …GOD HELP ME EEEEEEEE!!!” Trust me all 3 of us were in the consulting room. I asked the nurse not to console her anymore. Let her let it all out. So we waited for an hour or so, when she was done crying. She stood up and walked away.
“Doctor is that all you can do for me?” She asked as she turned to look at me just before leaving the room, Chie… I saw my nephew in her eyes, I could feel tears building up in my eyes but TAAA! If I hear say I shed one drop. I called her back just as she reached d door and I said “My dear. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I can only imagine how you feel, you still have a bright future ahead, God can never give you a burden you cannot carry. Don’t do anything stupid ok. This too shall pass. Let me know when you’re ready so I can talk to your parents.
As I retired to my living room, I couldn’t help but wonder whether it was partly my fault. I had so much time with this little girl, how was it I couldn’t see she was living such a reckless lifestyle at such a young age. I felt bad for the time I harshly asked her to stop calling me at inappropriate hours, I probably should’ve talked to her more. All the time I had to counsel her… Nna mehhnn, which kind life?
Next day I got a call from the hospital. I was told my little friend had come to see me again.
Virginia: Sir I am feeling better now, and just came for a check-up.
I looked at her and smiled. I thought to myself ‘even at such a young age, even with all that cry-cry, the “mother” in this young child wouldn’t hurt her baby”, we talked for hours. When I saw she could smile and laugh and not think the end of the world of her situation, I let her go home.
I was to see her in two weeks to repeat our PT and then plan towards Ante Natal Care registration, so you can imagine my shock when she was rushed in by her mom and brother last night. She was in shock & unconscious with the angel of death hovering around her. She had been bleeding for about a week and told her people she’s was seeing her period; though her mom suspected the abdominal cramps were unusual. As I examined her, you know those tears, the ones I held back the other time, well they were already all over my face. As her mom saw me crying she threw herself to the ground and started wailing “GOD OF PASTOR …………., DON’T LET MY DAUGHTER DIE!! JEESSUUSSS!!!…DOCTORRRR PLS DO SOMETHING… HEYYYYY! THEY’VE KILLED ME OOO”
I asked the nurses to take her away so I could work. It was 2:45 am. My little friend was still in there somewhere and I’d be damned if she crosses the line on my watch…she had a few minutes and so did I.
I’d finish this some other time.
Any similarity between any person in the above story and any other person living, dead or in between is surely a coincidence.
Uchenna Ezenwa Akujobi studied Medicine and Surgery in the University of Port Harcourt. He is a stock trader, a practicing doctor; and writing happens to be one of many things he is very fond of. He is passionate about sharing authentic and useful health information with the public in forms that are very interesting, easy to read and relate with. When not relating with humans he spends time grooming and raising his dogs.
Going back to the basics.
By Nimi Stephanie Ekere.
Last year, we were woken up to the news of a student who tried to poison his colleague because she was doing better than him, academically. This was to say the
least, frightening. That for me, set my mind wondering what the home environment of the said student was. If a child in Secondary school could think of something so terrible, it clearly showed that his family, which is the smallest unit of the society was in a wrong state. The reason is that the family forms most of a person’s values, at least at that tender age.
Recently, the suicide rate in the country has become so alarmingly high and particularly scary amongst young people. Young people take their lives for the flimsiest reasons. It’s either you hear that they took their lives because they were heartbroken in their relationship, they failed an exam or someone spoke to them badly.
In the past, we were known for our resilience and ability to adapt to even the most unfriendly situations, so what suddenly changed?
I would like us to look into the family setting and review our parenting styles and strategies. A lot has changed. Yes, I think a lot has changed so much; and this does not mean that our parents were perfect in the past. They made their mistakes but to a very large extent, they did a lot of things right.
Many modern day parents are so concerned about pleasing their children that a lot of areas are left unattended to. There seems to be no standards and values which are the bedrock of effective parenting.
The twenty first century parent is caught up in the web of an extremely busy schedule in the pursuit of money and when they make it, throw it at the child and fail to invest quality time with their children and lose the opportunity to discover their children and what they are growing up to become.
For many of these children, integrity means little or nothing, and the child having nothing to emulate, seeks help from his peers and the television.
Nannies have taken over the place of mothers in the lives of these children. And because parents are not always visible, and even if they are visible, they are unavailable, there lies a wide communication breakdown. And if a child cannot talk
or discuss everything with his parents, there usually are deadly alternatives for them.
Parents try to compensate for these deficiencies with wonderful vacations, gifts, expensive clothes and shoes and other luxuries. While these are wonderful, they do not take the place of deliberate, intentional and effective parenting.
Also, a lot of children are suffering from low self-esteem because of the unrealistic expectations and pressures from their parents. ‘Have you seen Linda’s results?’
Why can’t you come first place like Jonathan?’ This is all the child hears and gradually, his self-esteem completely gets eroded and he starts seeking for validation from external sources. He begins to have envy, hatred and unhealthy competitions as part of his everyday life.
This begins to manifest in his behaviour towards others. An example is the case of the seventeen year old boy that was left to drown by his friends because they were jealous of him. There are multiples of examples to buttress the fact that we must go back to the basics.
Parenting must be done right if we want to see this generation of children do better than us. There is a vacuum that must be filled. We must listen to these young ones. We must try to create time for them. Our values must not be thrown out, they must be instilled in our children. We can love our children without necessarily giving them everything they want. There should be discipline
in parenting. Sometimes, giving them all they want is not to their advantage. We must learn to know when to draw the line.
Their strengths should be celebrated while their weaknesses worked on. Unhealthy competitions are really unhealthy for them. We must know that every child is unique and is created differently with a special gift to change her world.
Prayer is an inevitable tool in effective parenting. Every word of prayer said on our children’s behalf is a seed that will germinate and yield fruits, good fruits. This said, prayers must go hand in hand with hard work as even the Bible admonishes us to intentionally, train up our children in a way that they should go and when they are old, they would not depart from it.
Thank you for reading this, I hope to get your feedback.
Dr Nimi Stephanie Ekere is a wife, mother and Family Physician. She enjoys writing, reading and attending to her patients. She is a life coach and teacher, who is passionate about children and young people walking in the right course and path to achieve their full potential.
Her Foundation, Ekom Charity Foundation mentors young people and also cares for the less privileged.
Sex: The Naked Truth, through my eyes…
By Excel Agoziem.
So I got to know Dr. Ovundah Nyeche on Facebook. I always found myself reading his beautiful posts. So, after he published Sex, the Naked Truth, I got an autographed copy directly from him and had an amazing read.
This book carries so much of Dr’s God-given wisdom, being a balanced combination of God’s standard for sexual relations, embedded in stories and actual life experiences.
While I initially thought it had teenagers as target audience, when I began reading, I found that I needed it as much, (everyone does) and even parents as well, for the sake of their children.
Sex, the Naked Truth, first teaches that it is God who made sex and all kinds of pleasures, so just as a manufacturer has his user manuals of everything invented by him, so God has His own guidelines on what He made. Yea, of course He made sex.
This book will open your eyes to various truths and expose certain repercussions of not having it God’s way- those consequences you know aren’t all there are, get this book and you will be amazed at what humans expose themselves to, for not having it God’s way.
You will also find different people’s stories shared in it, for your instruction.
Above all, you will learn that you are a priced possession and your body isn’t yours. You will learn how to glorify God with your body.
You will learn that not everyone is being defied, (a lot of people think and say that everyone is), and that just as God had 7,000 uncorrupted prophets in the time Elijah, (Rom 11:4, 1 Kings 19:18) He still has chaste sons and daughters in this age.
You will learn self control.
and the fear of God.
PS: To get this book for yourself, children and friends, just everyone, you can click on the links below.
Or reach the author via 📧 firstname.lastname@example.org
Money Matters Part II
By Olamide Falase.
The Million Dollar Loaf of Bread…
Remember when I told you earlier https://ovundahnyeche.com/2019/01/08/money-matters-part-i/ that there are some boring terms about money that you need to remember?
Let me ask you this question.
Which is more important, how much money you have, or what you can purchase with what you have?
To a Zimbabwean, that question is a “no-brainer”, he’ll probably say, “Of course it is what you can purchase (You see, there was a time a loaf of bread cost Z$35 Million – in case, you were wondering what I wrote, it’s 35 million Zimbabwean Dollars. You don’t believe me? Check this out https://www.jasonhartman.com/price-of-a-loaf-of-bread-jump…/ )
One very vital way of looking at money is to always think of it in terms of “its purchasing power”.
If someone offered you, US$10,000 or N3 Million which would you accept?
Remember that 3 million is a lot more than 10 thousand (in fact, 30 times more) however, a simple exchange rate comparison will have you opting for the US$10,000 precisely because the US$ is a better STORAGE OF VALUE than the Naira.
Of course choosing between the US$ and the Naira is, to most, a simple decision, but imagine if you had to choose between getting N3 Million right now, or N3.5 Million in 2 years’ time (Both amounts are guaranteed).
Now the choosing becomes more interesting, although I suspect that most Nigerians will settle for the N3 Million today, but I am also willing to wager that it is not for reasons that has to do with understanding how money works.
Make I digress small!!
Always remember that no matter how much or little you earn, you are someone’s “gbogbo bigs boy” or “gbogbo bigs gehs”
What this means is, there is ALWAYS something you can set aside from your current earnings and still maintain a standard of living.
It helps to imagine that there is someone, somewhere, right this minute, who may not even live too far away from you, who can subsist on what is left from your earnings after you have set some of it aside as savings.
Trust me, it is not hard to imagine it, and even much more easier to experience.
You just have to make up your mind to do it.
The toughest part is overcoming the false notion that you are as rich as what you wear, drive, eat or live in.
Truth is, you are as rich as what you cannot do without. The fewer the things you cannot do without, the wealthier you are likely going to become.
Saving money wouldn’t make you wealthy, but you cannot become wealthy without developing an attitude of savings..
I had to jump a whole lot of steps in my “money series” to get here, and so, there will likely be many people who wouldn’t understand what on God’s planet I am talking about; for that I apologize profusely.
I just thought I needed to say this to someone who would need the encouragement to develop an attitude of needing less than they earn.
Olamide Falase has nearly 18 years industry experience, which spans the Banking, Food Services, Civil Construction and the downstream sector of the Nigerian Oil and Gas industry, most of which has been in management and leadership positions. He presents industry related issues in a relatable format, easy for a broad range of people, not only to understand but to also relate to.
Sexual Purity6 days ago
Hold Your Fire
Adverts1 week ago
Adverts2 days ago
Subscribe Now to Jason Fubara’s Football Vlog
Features4 weeks ago
Going back to the basics.
Inspirational2 years ago
NCCF SHALL NEVER DIE…TALES FROM EKITI II
Adverts1 week ago
Walk and Run for Charity
Features3 months ago
Sex: The Naked Truth, through my eyes…
Adverts10 hours ago
Hurry up! Register Now!!