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TALES OF THE HE NOCENT VIRGIN CALLED VIRGINIA Part I

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By Uchenna Ezenwa Akujobi

 

OK, there’s this sixteen year old girl. What’s that her name sef…uuhhhhmm? Well obviously I can’t tell you guys her name but for the sake of this post, let’s call her… emmmmm? Amaka, no, no, no Amaka is my sister’s name. Let’s call her Eva… mbanu! Eva is my pooch’s name. I’d call her Virginia. I have my reasons.

Now Virginia and I met last year, she came to see a doctor. She had malaria and we talked for so long. I had no other patients to see and the young lady was amazing. I liked her, partly because she was same age as my nephew, but besides age, they shared many other similarities. She was inquisitive, queried everything and wanted to know why this and why that. She had hunger for information and it was just captivating.

It was obvious she was a bright young lady. She spoke Queen’s English and she knew just about enough to not be a total waste of my time. Our long conversation was interrupted by a nurse who came in because she was wondering why it was taking me so long to finish with this patient. Before she left, Virginia asked for my number. Sixteen year old, totally harmless, against my better judgment, I gave her… my nurse was shocked and she said “hian! doc you, you dan get girlfriend oo”. We laughed and that was it.

Each time Virginia came around we’d have our usual long chat. I’d ask about school and she’d want to know all I know about Medicine. She’d call me, quite frequently, mostly to talk about health related issues. The calls got a little more frequent and soon, I knew from experience, that something was wrong. She’d call by 11:00 pm to ask how my day was and if I’ve had something to eat. Soon she started complaining I never return her calls.

Four weeks ago, she called me saying she was ill and wanted to know if I was on duty. I asked her to come right away. She came with her mum. She was stooling, vomiting, had a fever and malaise. After talking plenty, I filled out a lab form requesting for malaria parasites screen, a full blood count and some others… and yeah a pregnancy test. But before I called the lab, I asked my young friend:

Me: My dear, when was your last menstrual period?
Virginia: I saw it last month sir, this month it has not come.
Me: Is it possible you’re pregnant?
Virginia: No oo… I’m not, I’m a virgin.

Shey una dey see problem, who asked about virginity here now? Well, I went with my instincts and requested for the PT notwithstanding. I sent her home with some medications. She was to come the next day to see the lab results.  Next day, she showed up early, I wasn’t on duty but she called. Curious to know how well she was responding to treatment, I came out to see her myself.

“How are you now my dear” I asked
Virginia: I’m much better now we thank God.
I opened her case note, the first thing that hit me was the pregnancy test result. I couldn’t control the anger within; when anger and disappointment mixes up, you feel something strange. My mother’s guardian Angel reminded me of the other lady from before, the one that almost put me in trouble so I called for a nurse to sit with Virginia and I… and then… ghen!! ghen!!!

Me: Virginia you’re pregnant! How could you be pregnant! You’re just 17!
Virginia fell off her chair to her knees and in fact eh words cannot describe the pain and outburst of emotions. She cried uncontrollably, she was rolling on the floor. Nurse went to hold her and console her. Me I was too angry with her to say anything, a ‘smart girl’, how could she? She managed to utter a few words amidst her tears. “Doc what do I do?  Can you help me plssssssssss, Doc. plssssssssss…” she was crying, “My mother will kill me, hey! I’m finished…Doc. please you’ve to do something!!!”
I looked her dead in the eyes. I had many things to say like ” I can’t help you my dear, you brought this on yourself, what are you doing having sex at this age…” but pity, chia! Pity overshadowed my anger and I said “sweetheart don’t worry, I’d help you. Stop crying. Wipe your tears, let’s talk like we always do”

She sat up. Wiped her tears… Looking hopeful.
Me: First of, I’m really confused about how it is that a virgin is pregnant. I’ve only seen this in the Bible… abi you drink your own belle for water? You know you’re my friend, just tell me d truth.
“Sir I’ve a boyfriend” she said sobbing.
Me: Good! And you’re sleeping with him abi? Without protection?
Virginia: Yes.
Me: Do you’ve any idea how much risk you’re taking, I’ve told you so much about HIV, hepatitis and other STIs abi? Well, I’m sorry but we’d have to run a full serology so I can know how much help you really need before I start offering to be of any assistance. I quickly sent a fresh sample to d lab & lucky us, her serology was clear.
Me: So Virginia, you’re pregnant, count yourself lucky instead of crying. You could have contracted HIV or one of her business associates, you know what they say, children are gifts from God. God has just blessed you. You should be grateful.
Me: Now this is how I can help u. Hold your ear and listen. Funny but she held her right ear up. I almost laughed but then I remembered I was not retarded. This was serious.

Abortion is illegal in this country, even if it wasn’t, I would never be a party to it mostly ‘cos it goes against my core beliefs. I can, however, help you by talking to your parents so they don’t kill you, getting you some good antenatal care and making sure you give birth safely when the time is right and being a godfather to your bundle of joy if you’d have me… but first you’d have to talk to your boyfriend and prepare him for fatherhood, that one, it’s only you that can do it.”

 

Virginia started crying again ooo …This time even louder than before… “I’M DEAD OOO, I’M DEAD OOO. …GOD HELP ME EEEEEEEE!!!” Trust me all 3 of us were in the consulting room. I asked the nurse not to console her anymore. Let her let it all out. So we waited for an hour or so, when she was done crying. She stood up and walked away.

“Doctor is that all you can do for me?” She asked as she turned to look at me just before leaving the room, Chie… I saw my nephew in her eyes, I could feel tears building up in my eyes but TAAA! If I hear say I shed one drop. I called her back just as she reached d door and I said “My dear. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I can only imagine how you feel, you still have a bright future ahead, God can never give you a burden you cannot carry. Don’t do anything stupid ok. This too shall pass. Let me know when you’re ready so I can talk to your parents.

As I retired to my living room, I couldn’t help but wonder whether it was partly my fault. I had so much time with this little girl, how was it I couldn’t see she was living such a reckless lifestyle at such a young age. I felt bad for the time I harshly asked her to stop calling me at inappropriate hours, I probably should’ve talked to her more. All the time I had to counsel her… Nna mehhnn, which kind life?
Next day I got a call from the hospital. I was told my little friend had come to see me again.
Virginia: Sir I am feeling better now, and just came for a check-up.
I looked at her and smiled. I thought to myself ‘even at such a young age, even with all that cry-cry, the “mother” in this young child wouldn’t hurt her baby”, we talked for hours. When I saw she could smile and laugh and not think the end of the world of her situation, I let her go home.

I was to see her in two weeks to repeat our PT and then plan towards Ante Natal Care registration, so you can imagine my shock when she was rushed in by her mom and brother last night. She was in shock & unconscious with the angel of death hovering around her. She had been bleeding for about a week and told her people she’s was seeing her period; though her mom suspected the abdominal cramps were unusual. As I examined her, you know those tears, the ones I held back the other time, well they were already all over my face. As her mom saw me crying she threw herself to the ground and started wailing “GOD OF PASTOR …………., DON’T LET MY DAUGHTER DIE!! JEESSUUSSS!!!…DOCTORRRR PLS DO SOMETHING… HEYYYYY! THEY’VE KILLED ME OOO”
I asked the nurses to take her away so I could work. It was 2:45 am. My little friend was still in there somewhere and I’d be damned if she crosses the line on my watch…she had a few minutes and so did I.

I’d finish this some other time.

DISCLAIMER

Any similarity between any person in the above story and any other person living, dead or in between is surely a coincidence.

#HearWord #HearWordSeries

 

Uchenna Ezenwa Akujobi studied Medicine and Surgery in the University of Port Harcourt. He is a stock trader, a practicing doctor; and writing happens to be one of many things he is very fond of. He is passionate about sharing authentic and useful health information with the public in forms that are very interesting, easy to read and relate with. When not relating with humans he spends time grooming and raising his dogs.

 

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14 Comments

14 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Ogaga

    August 1, 2017 at 12:16 am

    Hmmm. What an interesting line of story. Already anticipating for d continuation…..

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 29, 2017 at 2:39 am

      Hope you read the other parts?

  2. Avatar

    Tamie

    August 1, 2017 at 9:50 am

    This reminds me of a 15 going on 16year old who I met sometime last year. She was 8months pregnant and hadn’t had a single ANC visit.

    I hope your little friend made it.

    *grabs popcorn* *sips zobo*
    Front row seats for the next instalments.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 29, 2017 at 2:40 am

      Wish young people can #HearWord

  3. Avatar

    Nedee

    August 1, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    Hmmmm…..this is captivating.

    On edge.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 29, 2017 at 2:40 am

      Hmmmm

  4. Avatar

    chinwe

    August 1, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    Mmmhh couldn’t stop reading….nice piece

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 29, 2017 at 2:41 am

      Hope you finished the story?

  5. Avatar

    uche osigbo

    August 1, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Aptly written piece with a pathetic story line. Please Dr Uche ensure that Virginia didn’t die in the end, because her autopsy and burial will be expensive.
    That being said, I saw Virginia’s kind in my consulting room only recently. She presented with malaria as a symptom instead of giving me her presenting complaints . It eventually turned out that she was pregnant as was confirmed by a positive pregnancy test. These issues are real, and most times they leave you perplexed as a doctor.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 29, 2017 at 2:41 am

      These issues are real

  6. Avatar

    Warebi Aye

    August 2, 2017 at 10:09 am

    Simply put, an interesting piece, keeps your eyes glued to each following word, phrase and statement till the end.
    The next series on my mind already.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      August 29, 2017 at 2:41 am

      Thank you Warebi

  7. Avatar

    Kellylegend

    August 3, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    Hey doc nice story line bt if virginia die at d end ,i will put d blame on u

  8. Avatar

    Ovundah

    August 29, 2017 at 2:42 am

    Wetyn Doc do again?

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Family Circle

How Expensive are Expensive Weddings?

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By Edisemi Okpokiti

The cost for marriages is another reason for low marriages and also early broken marriages…it brings too much pressure to the equation.
Too much expectations, too much injuries in the process to accomplish, too much division already between new families who ought to be uniting, too much attention of the supposed spouse on an event than on the marriage.

Too much false hood expressed that has to be sustained, but with no basis for maintenance. Too much bad blood between supposed couples before they even start their home.

Many marriages ended on the night or morning after the wedding ceremony.

People regret night after their traditional wedding, and ask if it was worth all the tension, pressure and troubles or are visibly sad all through the wedding realising they have short changed themselves.

Love is stifled by fleshy lust of men and women for rights,privileges and inordinate desires to feel among. Many work for years to blow it one week 😭😭

Once the cost of the price to marry is reduced, the attention will be shifted to what my choice person thinks or feels and not what people think or feel; and that’s how relationships are built.

Preparation for marriage ought to be a good opportunity for people to know and get more acquainted with themselves but the pressure makes them distant from themselves, cursing, fighting and bitter at each other for their difference in priority and the family effect on them.

Father in-laws, mother in-laws , Siblings already become vouched enemies even before they know themselves.

It’s pathetic that poor families are the most expensive ones to marry from, it’s like these marriages is their visa out of poverty.

Elders have become children in their conduct and character just because of a young child’s money collected with the deceit of a priceless adventure.

Churches should adopt like the Orthodox churches now do for burials, giving specific date you must bury after death, thereby forcing hands to bury with what they have and not what they think they want.

Weddings in churches should be encouraged to be done even in midweeks and without receptions.

Young people also should stop talking of dream marriages. The women especially would shout “It is not in my turn, I’ll fall my hands”, but can’t you all see ,the men are not proposing because they are afraid and do not have what your entire village will demand? Ladies have to start discussing with their fathers and uncles and defend their husband to be.

Money spent on Marriages in this country, especially by the middle class and poor if invested could make those couples financially stable.

The steam most times is off before the team comes to field.

Many have lost even before the game starts.

Well for those who are really really well to do and I mean both not that the man is. Those whose families have more than enough to spare, then you are not stopped from your ecstasy.

If you are in relationship, and it’s not taking the next step this is a major cause. Seat with yourselves, seat with your parents and pastors and achieve your desire without destroying your desire. SELAH!

If you are a sibling or parent , please assist and clear all barriers and ensure your children and siblings don’t have this as a barrier preventing their marriage.

The age of unmarried is increasing daily to an average of 30…if this menace is not addressed …we will soon hit 35 yrs as average age of unmarried girls.

Let the wise hear, but the foolish rant…Life is a choice.

A counsel is not forced on anyone.

Edisemi Okpokiti is the Lead Faculty, The Pulpit and Lead Consultant of Rhabonni Consult Limited (A Human Capital Development Consultancy Firm). He is a trained Information Management Consultant and passionate preacher of the gospel.

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Features

Opinions Today, Pinions Tomorrow

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By Perez Tigidam

Nigeria is full of drama and the growing internet penetration and social media usage amplifies this daily. Individuals and even corporations are constantly being sucked into this pool of daily drama.

My thought is simple, if you must be an active and opinionated participant in every raging conversation on the internet, ensure you do so from the place of thought and principles and not an emotional rush, no matter how logical it might sound at the moment.

The internet archives, it never forgets.

Perez Tigidam

If you stand for a wrong today and months after try to go against that wrong because this time, you’re emotional towards one party involved, it means that you lack principle in the first place. Because the internet never forgets, people will call your bluff while referring to precedence.

It is very easy to glide into contradiction and inconsistency when you always have to offer opinion or hard stance not backed by principles.

Before you tweet, think. Before you post, pause to ponder.

perez tigidam

I have a particular friend who knows me so well that, in my absence, he can literally tell you what my position will be on any given issue even without hearing from me. Same for him. This is because -not to sound saintly- we’ve been consistent in our thought pattern over a long period of time. Our positions on things are always not popular but there’s been a pattern and we’ve been consistent.

One last thing,

In a low trust society like Nigeria, it’s important that you’re consistent in character and in principles. It helps when those with less knowledge of you bring up disparaging commentary of your person.

Last year, I had a fall out with a client and someone asked me, “What if this client decides to give a negative feedback on referrals?” My response was simple, my disagreement is not out of bad character but out of principle that binds a contractual relationship. Of every one client relationship that goes wrong, there are 9 others that will stand vehemently for me, because of character and precedence.

You can say I am not cheap when it comes to billing for my services and I’d agree, but I do not know that I am a cheat or dubious in character, for this I am grateful for my upbringing and can raise my shoulder anywhere to this.

If I disagree vehemently with a friend or a client, it’s mostly not out of bad character but out of principle. I rarely do shift from my position, either I just want to let you have your way and move on or I’m deeply convinced that my position is wrong, which doesn’t happen instantaneously either. I have to slowly be convinced on facts and principles that support that position, it’s the reason people say I’m stubborn.

But I am not.

Perez Tigidam is a brand management consultant and media entrepreneur based in Nigeria. He runs one of Nigeria’s foremost brand consultancy and design firms Arden & Newton Ltd and doubles up as the user experience and content strategy team lead at TheNerve Africa.

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Features

Going back to the basics.

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By Nimi Stephanie Ekere.

Last year, we were woken up to the news of a student who tried to poison his colleague because she was doing better than him, academically. This was to say the

least, frightening. That for me, set my mind wondering what the home environment of the said student was. If a child in Secondary school could think of something so terrible, it clearly showed that his family, which is the smallest unit of the society was in a wrong state. The reason is that the family forms most of a person’s values, at least at that tender age.

 

Recently, the suicide rate in the country has become so alarmingly high and particularly scary amongst young people. Young people take their lives for the flimsiest reasons. It’s either you hear that they took their lives because they were heartbroken in their relationship, they failed an exam or someone spoke to them badly.

 

In the past, we were known for our resilience and ability to adapt to even the most unfriendly situations, so what suddenly changed?

 

I would like us to look into the family setting and review our parenting styles and strategies. A lot has changed. Yes, I think a lot has changed so much; and this does not mean that our parents were perfect in the past. They made their mistakes but to a very large extent, they did a lot of things right.

 

Many modern day parents are so concerned about pleasing their children that a lot of areas are left unattended to. There seems to be no standards and values which are the bedrock of effective parenting.

 

The twenty first century parent is caught up in the web of an extremely busy schedule in the pursuit of money and when they make it, throw it at the child and fail to invest quality time with their children and lose the opportunity to discover their children and what they are growing up to become.

 

For many of these children, integrity means little or nothing, and the child having nothing to emulate, seeks help from his peers and the television.

 

Nannies have taken over the place of mothers in the lives of these children. And because parents are not always visible, and even if they are visible, they are unavailable, there lies a wide communication breakdown. And if a child cannot talk

or discuss everything with his parents, there usually are deadly alternatives for them.

 

Parents try to compensate for these deficiencies with wonderful vacations, gifts, expensive clothes and shoes and other luxuries. While these are wonderful, they do not take the place of deliberate, intentional and effective parenting.

 

Also, a lot of children are suffering from low self-esteem because of the unrealistic expectations and pressures from their parents. ‘Have you seen Linda’s results?’

Why can’t you come first place like Jonathan?’ This is all the child hears and gradually, his self-esteem completely gets eroded and he starts seeking for validation from external sources. He begins to have envy, hatred and unhealthy competitions as part of his everyday life.

 

This begins to manifest in his behaviour towards others. An example is the case of the seventeen year old boy that was left to drown by his friends because they were jealous of him. There are multiples of examples to buttress the fact that we must go back to the basics.

Parenting must be done right if we want to see this generation of children do better than us. There is a vacuum that must be filled. We must listen to these young ones. We must try to create time for them. Our values must not be thrown out, they must be instilled in our children. We can love our children without necessarily giving them everything they want. There should be discipline

in parenting. Sometimes, giving them all they want is not to their advantage. We must learn to know when to draw the line.

 

Their strengths should be celebrated while their weaknesses worked on. Unhealthy competitions are really unhealthy for them. We must know that every child is unique and is created differently with a special gift to change her world.

 

Prayer is an inevitable tool in effective parenting. Every word of prayer said on our children’s behalf is a seed that will germinate and yield fruits, good fruits. This said, prayers must go hand in hand with hard work as even the Bible admonishes us to intentionally, train up our children in a way that they should go and when they are old, they would not depart from it.

 

Thank you for reading this, I hope to get your feedback.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr Nimi Stephanie Ekere is a wife, mother and Family Physician. She enjoys writing, reading and attending to her patients.  She is a life coach and teacher, who is passionate about children and young people walking in the right course and path to achieve their full potential.

Her Foundation, Ekom Charity Foundation mentors young people and also cares for the less privileged.

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