THE THERAPEUTIC SLAP

NB: Prof Emeritus Douglas Omubo-pepple Prof Hillary Onyedika Consultants Emmanuel Aseminachin, Stanley Kalu

May be just may be Inability to hear word finally has a cure. Driving in a Port Harcourt Road with the her Range Rover SUV, she tried to make a turn and her SUV hit a car or according to her the car did not take notice and hit her SUV.

How will a common Toyota Camry have the effrontery and temerity to hit a Range Rover SUV? She jumped out when the man was not seeing reasons with her, rushed to his car and banged on his car and when he came out of his car, she extended her forearm at the elbow joint and with maximal effort landed a slap on his receptive cheeks.

The recipient of the slap seemed stunned, so stunned that he could not even utter a word or even relieve the impact on his cheek and to further rub salt to injury. She put a call across and moments later her husband appeared with two mobile policemen who were out of his car in a jiffy about to manhandle the recipient of the slap.

Well as they say, wonders will never end, and in no time the mobile policemen were saluting the recipient of the slap, who unknown to on lookers was a senior Naval Officer.

He too picked his phone and put a call across and moments later several naval officers assembled to start what I will call a slapping contest.

To demonstrate, the slapped told a female Naval staff to show the lady that slapped him what a slap was all about; She was to now feel the texture, morphology, physiology and pathology of a slap. The sound of the slap on the cheek of her face was like a Christmas firecracker.

He now explained that she should slap her husband just the way she was slapped. She hesitated and  maybe did not understand the command so a second slap was given to her to make her understand the command better.

And so an impromptu slapping competition ensured between the couple and after putting a good slapping show it was finally put to an end amidst wails and tears. Well I was not an eye witness, else I would have admitted her urgently but am sure if the lady or her husband had chronic inability to hear word, there was finally a cure and they would suddenly start “hearing word”.

Sirs, since this case, I have been looking forward to seeing patients present with similar symptoms, but I have seen none. Hearing however that many couples use slapiterol in their homes and this has worsened chronic anunitis, making it more difficult to treat inability to hear word.

I think a publication should be made explaining that slapiterol was never intended to cure inability to hear word at home and in fact its use generally is being questioned by many colleges; when used especially at home it is counterproductive and can cause anaplastic forms.

Thanks you kind review,

#DrHearWord for the department

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