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THE THERAPEUTIC SLAP

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NB: Prof Emeritus Douglas Omubo-pepple Prof Hillary Onyedika Consultants Emmanuel AseminachinStanley Kalu

May be just may be Inability to hear word finally has a cure. Driving in a Port Harcourt Road with the her Range Rover SUV, she tried to make a turn and her SUV hit a car or according to her the car did not take notice and hit her SUV.

How will a common Toyota Camry have the effrontery and temerity to hit a Range Rover SUV? She jumped out when the man was not seeing reasons with her, rushed to his car and banged on his car and when he came out of his car, she extended her forearm at the elbow joint and with maximal effort landed a slap on his receptive cheeks.

The recipient of the slap seemed stunned, so stunned that he could not even utter a word or even relieve the impact on his cheek and to further rub salt to injury. She put a call across and moments later her husband appeared with two mobile policemen who were out of his car in a jiffy about to manhandle the recipient of the slap.

Well as they say, wonders will never end, and in no time the mobile policemen were saluting the recipient of the slap, who unknown to on lookers was a senior Naval Officer.

He too picked his phone and put a call across and moments later several naval officers assembled to start what I will call a slapping contest.

To demonstrate, the slapped told a female Naval staff to show the lady that slapped him what a slap was all about; She was to now feel the texture, morphology, physiology and pathology of a slap. The sound of the slap on the cheek of her face was like a Christmas firecracker.

He now explained that she should slap her husband just the way she was slapped. She hesitated and  maybe did not understand the command so a second slap was given to her to make her understand the command better.

And so an impromptu slapping competition ensured between the couple and after putting a good slapping show it was finally put to an end amidst wails and tears. Well I was not an eye witness, else I would have admitted her urgently but am sure if the lady or her husband had chronic inability to hear word, there was finally a cure and they would suddenly start “hearing word”.

Sirs, since this case, I have been looking forward to seeing patients present with similar symptoms, but I have seen none. Hearing however that many couples use slapiterol in their homes and this has worsened chronic anunitis, making it more difficult to treat inability to hear word.

I think a publication should be made explaining that slapiterol was never intended to cure inability to hear word at home and in fact its use generally is being questioned by many colleges; when used especially at home it is counterproductive and can cause anaplastic forms.

Thanks you kind review,

#DrHearWord for the department

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Lois

    July 29, 2017 at 8:53 am

    Imagining the effrontery it takes to stretch out one’s hand and slap another, much so slapping someone physically stronger than you.
    I’m sure she’s been cured of that gross inability to hear word for life. Even small pikin sef she won’t slap again!

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      July 30, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Lois, you are the first person who commented on this blog and you just won yourself a price, congrats.

  2. Avatar

    Sophia

    July 29, 2017 at 11:24 am

    Lol, lesson of the day.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      July 30, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Thank you for reading and commenting my sister.

  3. Avatar

    Tamie

    July 29, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    Such slapping contest is sure to cure any one with inability to hear word.
    Lol

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      July 30, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      Will it cure it?

  4. Avatar

    perri

    July 30, 2017 at 5:51 am

    The woman and her husband go hear word

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      July 30, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      It is always a pleasure connecting with those that visit ovundahnyeche.com, thanks for reading and commenting Perri.

  5. Avatar

    Jeff

    July 30, 2017 at 7:46 am

    Nice write up Ovd. However, slapeterol had always had 100% efficacy but should titrated according to age, weight and indication putting contraindications into consideration.

    • Avatar

      Ovundah

      July 30, 2017 at 4:17 pm

      Thanks for reading and commenting Jeff.

  6. Avatar

    Stanley Kalu

    July 30, 2017 at 5:39 pm

    syndrome of inability to hear has become a pandemic requiring high index of suspicion and aggressive therapy ….Lol..

  7. Avatar

    Eguono

    August 1, 2017 at 9:54 am

    Hahahahaha, your narration made me feel like I was witnessing this event live. Well done doc.

  8. Avatar

    Warebi Aye

    August 7, 2017 at 11:20 am

    I’d really wish to thank the scientists who discovered the drug slapiterol, I think it’s very effective in the treatment of “inability to hear word”.
    A video of the scene would’ve been a very effective therapeutic tool or don’t you think so Dr. Ovundah Nyeche? Lol

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HearWord

Hear Word, from a book reviewer’s eyes…

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By Grace Ngozi Onyebuolise.

A subject can be difficult but if your teacher knows how to use humor and is really good at what he or she does, learning that subject would be easy.

It is one reason I can’t forget my teacher who taught me physics in secondary school.
He could teach, he was funny and ensured we learnt each topic very well.

Real life issues and making choices can be tough. We seem to know the right decision to make but are lured to do the opposite because we find it really pleasurable and being reactive doesn’t require so much energy when compared to being proactive and getting our emotions under control.

In simple, funny, sarcastic, rhetorical but yet beautiful short stories, Doctor Ovundah Nyeche takes us through life lessons on various topics; relationship, sex matters, marriage, failure, personal development, health, character development, friendship and many more.

This book seems small but laced with beautiful short stories that leaves you smiling and telling yourself, “This word enter.”

Most stories are drawn from his personal experiences like the ones found on Pages 69 and 70 titled, Equip Yourself and More Than Papers. While some, like ‘Legend Of The Chaser’ are fictional.

Because of the size of the book, your 8year old may think it’s a book they can read but please, don’t oblige them yet. They are not yet strong to handle stories like Legend Of The Chaser. 😂😂😂😂.

This work is beautifully written. You would find yourself postponing and reading a chapter at a time because of the author’s creative writing style but please, read to the end as a repeat still feels like a first read.

My most enjoyable part of the reading was the chapter that opened my eyes to see this scripture “We know no man after the flesh” in a better and new light.

And like my picture below, the world would present many things to you that would be filled paradox , but choose to Hear Word and zoom in to read a tiny book filled with wisdom to help your life choices.

I am also proud to announce that this wonderful book got it’s creative cover from the amazing designer, Onuora Onianwa
and he can make one for you if you are writing or planning to write a book.

Book Title : Hear Word.

To purchase this book, please do connect with its author, Ovundah Nyeche on Facebook or click the link below if you wish to get a copy delivered to you anywhere in Nigeria.

https://paystack.com/pay/hearword

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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I just read my copy of Hear Word.

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By Dr. Adimea Obed.

I decided to practically Hear Word this morning.

My Chief Dr. Ovundah Nyeche ‘finished work’ in this sensational wisdom of the century wrapped in short relatable stories. All in one book

Mixed with enough humour in his characteristic manner that will leave your laughing and learning.

The book contains too much knowledge for the ‘shikini’ money it goes for.

It is divided into 6 parts made up of many short sweet stories.

1)Love sex and marriage ( 17 stories)
2)Leaders of tomorrow (9 stories)
3)Learn, Unlearn, Relearn. ( 4 stories).
4)Pause, Think and Do ( 6 Stories)
5)Social Media etiquette ( 6 stories)
6)Where there is a Doctor. (10 stories)

Tell me why you should not read this book this year?

As a doctor that I am, I couldn’t help but notice an interesting Story in part 6.
Chapter 48
Topic: Diabetes and power failure… can you imagine😂? You must read that story oh.

Final thought there was. It is only wise to listen to your doctor. If you know you will eventually go to the hospital, then just go there first.

This book shall win awards. Note that I told you that first.

Get you own copy from Dr Ovundah Nyeche, too much wisdom.

When OVD speaks l listen.

#HearWord #OVD.

PS To get your paperback copy of Hear Word delivered to you any where in Nigeria you can click the link below.

https://paystack.com/pay/hearword

Or get it on the Okadabooks app https://okadabooks.com/book/about/hear_word/28177

Or via amazon for kindle readers on https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CL4DH4X

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HearWord

Save our Ladies…

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By Ovundah Nyeche.

It is no news that in our state, several ladies have been killed recently and if you put all the news together and try to analyze the deaths which are more than 8 now, several things are connected and common.

* Ladies

* Hotel rooms

* Bed

* Dead

* White handkerchiefs

* Strangulated

* Rivers State

* Discovered

And if you put all this together, your mind is likely to run haywire… Is this a serial killing? Are these ritualists? Why hotels or motels? What kind of ladies are targeted?

While we attempt to answer this question, the truth is that every lady who have lost their life, is either someone’s daughter, sibling, mother, spouse, partner, friend or colleague.

‘Dead body no be fire wood.’

So what can be done to stop this menace.

HOTELS

Curiously no 5 or 4 star hotel has had this ugly incidence, meaning that the more secure a hotel is, the less likely this is to happen in or around the hotel.

The Hoteliers association should ensure that members have CCTVs installed in all their entrances, walkway to all their rooms and lobby.

People would tend to behave themselves if CCTVs are installed anywhere, as they know someone is watching.

For motels/ guest houses and other places that do not have CCTVs and do not have the means to install them, they should make sure ID cards of people checking into their rooms are sighted and snapped for record purposes and these ID cards should have passports that match with the bearer.

They should also ensure they have POS machine for transactions as this could help in tracking, phone numbers given by anyone checking in should be dialled to be sure it is authentic.

Also staff should be trained to ensure that no one who checked in with someone, or no one who went to see someone in a checked in room leave without finding out the whereabout of their partner.

Hoteliers should also profile their staff and make sure anyone working with them is properly vetted, as insiders may be part of this.

Any hotel/ motel /guest house which cannot guarantee the safety of her guests, should as well consider doing another business.

LADIES

Being a lady means you are at risk, and having a meeting with anyone including an ‘Uncle’ in any hotel not a 5 or 4 star hotel is a risk on its own and being a risk you have to protect yourself.

Before you go to see anyone anywhere please inform everyone you need to inform and know the name of the person you are going to see, not just Facebook or social media names, as they may not be authentic. Also ensure you are comfortable meeting the person after running a profile search on the person. Let those who would mourn you if anything goes wrong know what is happening and where you are or you are going to.

If you are doing a business transaction that requires delivery of stuff or services to people you don’t know, please kindly use logistics services, there are many of them in the city of Port Harcourt, you must not go yourself.

Whether make up or food services, or hair services, or shoes or clothes, please don’t be in a hurry to meet people where you are vulnerable and you are likely going to be incapacitated if the unexpected happens.

Ladies use your head and not your stomach to reason… The consequences are dire.

If you are an Amalakite, if you are an Amalakite, it is important to note, that it is a very dangerous trade, world over and every outing has no guarantees.

Please if you insist on continuing, then your brain has to be on alert, know the number plate of any car you enter and the make of the car and send it to your loved ones.

Send details of the people you are hanging out with even if they were recommended by your best friends, please inform another best friend and if it is possible make the ‘hangee’ know your people know where you are, and if it is possible decide where you wish to hang out.

But because the above is very difficult in practise as many times drug and substance abuse goes with this trade, it is very important to quite if you can’t control this.

GOVERNMENT

Where do we start from, like a friend said, if you go to our laws, you will discover the problem is not the laws but the enforcement of the laws.

The government must insure that everything that pertains to safety/running of hotels and the likes should be according to the law and defaulters punished. More than barking, they should also bite.

The state ministry of information should play their part to sensitize the public on this issue and since the government is more informed, tell the citizens what to do, to avoid becoming victims.

Just like ebola, this is a public ‘safety’ issue and it should be treated like an outbreak of a deadly disease.

The government must ensure youths are their priority and play their part in helping young people with life saving skills, entrepreneurship etc, and do all within their power to kill the ‘money culture’ threatening to sink our generation.

Sensitization to the ‘at risk group’ as well as those likely going to do this is very key.

The government should also order that an autopsy be conducted on all the corpses to really ascertain the cause of death, as the white handkerchiefs may just be a red herring.

SECURITY OPERATIVES

Like someone said one crime overlooked will likely encourage crime and one crime punished will likely discourage crime.

Who are those arrested? How soon can investigations be concluded? Would it have been faster if someone that knows someone or someone who has a large pocket was involved?

2 years ago a Shell worker was killed in his office in Port Harcourt and with the aid of forensic science, the Rivers State Police command coned down on one suspect whose DNA samples were at the scene of the incidence. He was a staff of a contracting firm with Shell and he confessed his involvement in the murder of the worker and implicated a 2nd suspect who was also arrested.

The police had done it before, they can do it again.

The call log, messages, social media inbox messages, bank transactions of these ladies should be properly investigated.

Security agencies, should be security agencies indeed.

YOU

Shine your eyes 👀 well well, stay safe, be vigilant, tell someone to #hearword

Again what do I know?

Ovundah Nyeche writes from the Garden city of Port Harcourt.

#hearword #OvdSpeaks #hearwordseries

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