Sounds predictable, many guys want a humble, submissive God fearing wife. But if you really ask them what all this mean, you will definitely hear a thousand different meaning of what the phrase ‘humble, submissive and God fearing’ mean. Many a times it simply means a silent lady, who will do all you tell her to do without questioning. In 21st century terms a Zombie or for the technologically savvy, a robot.
You hear people say my wife has no right to speak when am talking, you also hear who gave you a right to talk when am talking. Many times people’s view of a good woman is one who is seen but never heard. You hear a beautiful young lady saying I love him, I want to marry him, he is caring but he never listens to me.
Truly speaking, I may not have been married for so long, but I cherish the guidance I receive when my wife speaks to me about certain situations. I feel I have it all figured out and boom she shows me an entirely new angle to it and immediately scales fall from my eyes. Many times I have made mistakes and many times because I threw very valuable advice from her. The marriage walk is one where head knowledge and an ‘omniknowest‘ attitude is bound to fail you. As you lead the way, you have to also hear her out. It’s a journey with her, yourself and God, the blessings of synergy surely surpasses mathematical equations.
In another news
What are you doing in a relationship with a lady you will never listen to or a man that will never listen to you. Relationships are built by a 2 way communication
Don’t Fake it, Face it…
By Ovundah Nyeche.
Few days ago, I called a friend on phone and told him I needed to see him urgently. We had fixed meetings several times in the past, but work and other things prevented these from holding. This time however, the meeting had to hold.
He breathed heavily when he picked up the phone, and asked me, ‘Ovd did my wife call you?’, a question I did not answer. In response I told him we should meet the following day at a particular venue for a man-to-man talk.
The day of the meeting came and we sat down, man-to-man, brother-to-brother. We talked, no holds barred and at the end, he said ‘Bro, I did not see this stuff in this light, I feel very sorry. I have to make peace’. He left the meeting much better than he came, and he made commitments to stop the offence that caused the issue and immediately ended all appointments and made plans to go home to his wife.
I smiled. I have also been on the hot seat, one call to mentors or friends when I no dey hear word and I am put in my place and vice versa. No, my own relationship is not without its own challenges.
I called to follow up later on my friends and it was as though a problem that had lasted years had disappeared, and the smiles and number of ‘Thank yous’ on the other side of the phone was enough to build a flyover.
This is why I shake my head when I see couples build their home on the erroneous maxim ‘a third party must never know what is happening in your home’. This sounds nice, sweet and motivational but in many cases it backfires.
Sassy and Lassy are breaking up after 1 year in marriage and you ask to know what the issue is or was and you find out they are issues that if they were sorted out in time would not have resulted in the mountain or chasm that the problem now looks like or if counsel was sought on time they would have found out that they were not the only ones who had that issue, and it is actually not an issue if faced with wisdom.
Unsurprisingly, many things people face are not unique and many times not novel.
This journey is too important to isolate yourself from wise counsel and from people that can make you accountable, people that can mentor you and guide you in the right path.
Today Hear Word and do the right thing.
Today Hear Word and invest in the right relationships.
Today Hear Word and be intentional about the success of your marriage.
Today Hear Word and suffocate needless problems.
Today, Hear Word.
Hearword #ovdspeaks #HearWordSeries
House Rent Palaver.
By Ovundah Nyeche.
When you get married, apart from your children school fees, one issue that will talk to you every year/season, if you stay in a country like Nigeria and you don’t have your property, stay in your organization’s accommodation, or have your accommodation sorted out by your organization, is the issue of house rent.
Yes, house rents speaks so loud…and house rents can cause family problems if not tackled with wisdom, reality and the truth.
As a couple, it is important you tell yourself basic truths about your finances and plan accordingly.
Yes your ‘levels’ may be saying GRA or Peter Odili road or Banana Island, but what does your pocket say? Knowing that in 12 months time, the house rent bell will ring again…and for unexplained reasons it is usually easier to pay the first rent than subsequent ones in many cases.
Like someone advised your yearly house rent should not be more than 20% of your yearly income or yearly profi and trust me ‘e no easy to bring out’ the whole rent at once, so it may be wisdom to save monthly for it. So if you can’t bring out (let’s say your house rent is #1,000,000 yearly) #100,000 monthly comfortably, it may be very difficult to pay the #1,000,000 at once and it may be a pointer, that you are living above your means.
May the Lord grant us wisdom and may you not live your life on other people’s impression about you…or plan your budget based on the circle of friends you belong to. All fingers are not equal, even if they are part of the same hand.
Telling yourselves basic truths, can save your family a whole lot of headache…yes, life is not always straight forward and hard times and emergencies can sometimes come unannounced, but to the best of your abilities, be truthful to yourselves.
Like a proverb says “No look another person pot of soup, do garri”…’e go shock you’.
May wisdom lead you.
#HearWord #ovdspeaks #HearWordseries
Wisdom for two
By Ovundah Nyeche.
One of the many questions I ask people getting married, is what their expectations about marriage is? And what exactly they expect from their spouse? And as always respect, love, protection, submission, provision, companionship, children etc. may mean different things to different couples and people.
Many times many of the disappointment about marriage is that many of these expectations, many not voiced, written or expressly communicated are not met… And many times many of these expectations are formed from social media, music lyrics, films and many are without a tinge of reality.
Wisdom is really knowing and agreeing on these expectations and also knowing that things may not exactly go according to plan and when they don’t, both couple should be willing to negotiate unexpected bends and do all within their ability to make their home work.
A good home is not wished for, it is not just prayed for, it is worked for by both parties and it is a full time job.
I don’t know who is going through difficult times at home, or navigating bends you never envisioned, or disillusioned with what you are currently seeing… getting scored early goals, by the team called ‘challenges’, does not necessarily mean you will lose the match or your home; getting knocked down in the first round by challenges, does not necessarily mean you have lost out completely.
It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies. It’s better to be wise than strong; intelligence outranks muscle any day. Strategic planning is the key to warfare; to win, you need a lot of good counsel. Proverbs 24:3-6 MSG
Wisdom oh Lord we pray, wisdom oh Lord we apply. @ovdiasis
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