Recently after writing a post on the need for parents to teach their kids about sex and tell them what God says about it. A parent asked a question which I have put below.
Though there were a lot of responses, this two, caught the eyes and did justice to the subject raised. With their permission I had to make a blog post from their responses and I hope it benefits you.
Question: At what age should children be taught about sex and what exactly do you tell them? My kids have asked me how I got pregnant and how the baby came out. I couldn’t tell them exactly how I got pregnant, but I told them exactly how the baby came out.
Ihechiluru Anozie: Tell them daddy slept with mummy and she got pregnant. When they ask you what “slept” means, if above 5-6 years, tell them that daddy and mummy had sex, a special coming together meant only for married people and pregnancy resulted.
By 8-9 years, inform them of the organs involved in sex, but from the word go…let them know it is so pure and good that God reserved it exclusively for married couples.
By age 10-11 educate them that having sexual feelings would come as puberty sets in and explain to them the changes that will happen in their body so that it would not be a surprise to them.
Expect them to tell you, mummy when can I start having sex? Joyfully answer them… When you are married.
If they ask you, “When will I get married?” Answer them that it is when you are old enough as a full grown adult.
We need to teach our children all they need to know on “A need to know basis”.
As they grow older, give them the level of information their brain can assimilate. Smile, be happy with teaching them so that they know that sex is pure and sweet! Don’t squeeze your face; don’t make it look like “Why are you asking this question?” They will learn the TRUTH about sex from us parents and that is always the best. Thank you
Chiemezie Claire Anyanwu: Children of this generation are far smarter and more aware than previous generations. The Bible says knowledge shall increase and we can see that happening.
My take, if a child is old enough to ask any question on sex no matter the age, then he/she is also old enough to get an age appropriate answer. Do not hush them, do not mystify sex, use age appropriate words/explanations. If they insist or venture to ask to know more, please trust me, tell them yourself or they will get other explanations you may not like from peers, the internet, TV or others sources you don’t want.
Sex should not be presented to the older children as dirty, it will only pique their curiosity and get them trying things they shouldn’t.
God made Sex and it is good WITHIN the boundary of marriage. Boundaries must be taught to children early. Call body parts as they are known, don’t sugarcoat them e.g. it is vagina not “pussy” etc.
So much to say but one last thing, Sex education is best under an atmosphere of trust, care and friendship, teaching your child about sex and giving them rules and regulations when you are not even there for them in other things is a joke.
A child doesn’t just need your presents, he/she desires your presence. You don’t mentor from afar, discipling is done proximally.
Dr Ihechiluru Anozie is a young psychiatrist with interest in Addiction Psychiatry. A Pastor and Teacher of God’s Word in simple but sublime ways. He is a husband to First Lady Hannah and father of 4 brilliant children.
Dr Chiemezie Claire Anyanwu is a doctor of optometry with over 20 years experience. She is an instructor and the Healing school Coordinator for Rhema Bible Training Centre Nigeria. She is also a Minister in The Father’s Church, Abuja.
She itinerates nationally preaching and helping set up healing schools for churches. She’s the CEO of Claire’s Cakes & More Ltd and Head of the NGO: The Love Soup Kitchen. She and her husband are Passionate about and active in the helps, marriage and family ministries.
She’s been married for 18 years to Uche Anyanwu, a legal practitioner. And together they have 5 children: 4 girls namely Rachel, Beulah, Deborah and Joy and a son Ezra.