By Oluchi Okafor Ugwunne.
I first heard this message preached in a relationship seminar during my NYSC days. The message was striking and timeless. I remembered it a while ago and thought I should share it with you. I’ve added a few lessons I learnt along the way too. Hope you enjoy it.
It’s amazing how full the world is of pretty people.
If you go to Jos, you’ll see a set of beautiful ladies and good-looking guys.
A trip to Lagos will reveal the trendiest, fashionable girls, up-to-date on the latest trends.
Port Harcourt has the most eligible bachelors there are…tall, handsome and all a girl could want.
Trips to Abuja, Calabar and other parts of Nigeria may reveal such beauties and blokes that may take your breath away.
The truth is that, wherever you go on earth, there will always be beautiful people. People that are a sight for sore eyes, that will make you wonder whether such beauty can possibly be surpassed.
That’s why many people sometimes find it difficult to stay in a relationship…or even to stay married.
You see…they thought they’d seen it all. Their husband’s voice was the deepest, his muscles the hunkiest…his bank account the most manageable. He was the king of their palace. His attitude was flawless. They totally thought no one could beat his record.
Until they met Mr. B. That’s when they realized that their husband may be flawless…but this other man is perfect. Somehow, unbelievably,his voice is deeper, huskier. His smile is bewitching. His skin is flawless. He has a perfect sense of humour. He’s gentler, and seems to be so in sync with you, it’s unreal.
You see, wherever you are, there’ll usually be a point when you meet someone that you think is better than what you have.
She’s got more poise…she’s much more smarter, her shape is more like your perfect idea….and her smile seems to compete with the sun in shining.
Truth is this: We will all be tempted at one point or the other to think that what we have isn’t good enough. That if we had waited a little longer we would have had the perfect one. The grass on the neighbour’s side seems greener most of the time.
And so, many call off engagements, some call off relationships…some even call off their marriages…just so that they can be with the one who has surpassed their expectations.
What happens when they meet someone who now surpasses Mr. B? Confusion.
You see, life calls for maturity. There will always be someone better, more beautiful, more handsome, richer than the person you are engaged to or married to.
Maturity says, ‘I have chosen this one, and I choose to love him/her for better or worse.’ Regardless of the attractions and distractions out there, you choose to turn a blind eye.
Mature people realize that you cannot have it all, and even when you do, there will still be much more. Maturity says that ‘I will be satisfied with what I have, I will put in my very best to make it better…I will not compare myself with others, for that is not wise’. Maturity is believing that what I have is the very best, and it is all I need.
If you are still in a relationship or engaged, of course it’s wise to back out if you feel that there’s a mistake somewhere,or you are not fully convinced in your mind. But please….remember that even when you find the best and get married to him/her, somewhere along the line, you will still see someone apparently ‘better’ than your best. Maturity will keep you faithful to the one you have chosen for life.
Oluchi Okafor Ugwunne studied Medicine in the University of Port Harcourt, Nigeria. She is the author of Practical Advice for Girls and A Reason to Hope. Her life’s passion is helping young people discover and fulfill their God given destiny. She is married to her lovely friend and they are blessed with children.